The 5 Stages of Flirting

We’ve all been there. You’re looking into her eyes, and she’s looking into yours. You’re smiling and laughing and suddenly there’s this feeling in your stomach that you don’t get with any other person. Outside of a relationship, the desire for someone else is often a short-lived flame. When we don’t know if we actually want to be in a relationship with, we test the waters by flirting. After flirting, comes dating, then love, then marriage, and all of the wonderful children.

If you aren’t in tune with social dynamics, knowing this process can be the difference between a guy who gets a lot of girl and a guy who constantly asks himself why girls don’t like him. I can’t make this up; I swear this is in science. There was a study that found that one’s ability to properly use flirting cues was better at attracting those of the opposite gender than actually being attractive. Yes, body language matters.

Girls who flip their hair, make eye contact, and gently touch guys their interested in are much more likely to some action. And on the other side, guys who walk up to girls, make jokes, and gently touch girls their interested in are more likely to “score”. Don’t blame me; it’s the science.

Flirting is where relationships begin. It’s the beginning to one of the most powerful emotions that humans feel, and it displays the importance that body language has in our daily life. It also leads to some cool hookups. So, I think it’s important to understand. Below, I’m going to go over the five stages of flirting.

The Approach

For the most part women are calling the shots in flirting. The women is the one who initially sends signals of interest to the man, that he ends up decoding. Before the approach, the woman will make eye contact with a guy, then the guy will eventually realize this and walk up to her. This moves into the next phase of flirtation.

This is one of the reasons why women are said to initiate flirting. The woman makes the initial eye contact to signal the guy before any action occurs. The guy could walk up to a bunch of girls to hit on, but his overall success rate is going to be low. The guy’s success is dependent on his ability to decode the girl’s signals, not his amazing looks. The exception to this is Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum. They’re hot.

Conversation

It’s the guy’s turn to initiate the conversation, and it’s where the two will learn more about each other. What do we have in common? Wow, you like playing the piano too? What are the chances? The conversation doesn’t have to be glamorous. Sometimes guys will get nervous and walk in the girls direction, then stand around her. If he never initiates conversation, the flirting usually stops here. If not, it’s on to the next stage.

Swivel and Turn

Smiling and changes in body language become apparent during the interaction. The girl might touch her hair and the guy might suck in his stomach and stand taller. They’ll start to face each other instead of talking side by side.

Touch

The woman might ‘accidently’ touch the guy’s arm. The guy will touch the girls arm, and eventually higher levels of touching. Maybe the girl will brush something off the guys shoulder, or the guy will touch her hand.

If the women touches the guy and he tenses up, it’s a negative sign. The same applies for the guy touching the girl. Touching should be received well for the next stage to occur, if not, flirtation is stopping there.

Synchronization

This is my favorite part of the process because of how natural it is. The body language becomes the same. This is where a bubble starts to form between the two, and you’re smiling and looking into each other’s eyes. You start to naturally mirror each other, and your breathing and heart beats become the same.

This is something that actors have a difficult time mimicking, and researchers say that it can’t be mimicked.

That’s it, the stages of flirting. So the next time you’re at a bar, and you see a cute girl constantly looking at you, you can thank me for giving you an excuse to talk to her. Or, if you’re wondering why guys are walking up to your friends instead of you, maybe this helped give you insight into the process.

There’s a big hookup culture that’s formed in colleges across America. If you think about it, I’m kind of a saint because I’m helping facilitate these hookups. You know, for science, and so everyone can find amazing people to get into relationships with. Dating someone is easier when you’ve been flirting with them.