The Compassion Revolution — How Society Is Designed To Crush Empathy

In a time where self-care is considered paramount and we are taught to look after number one, Roman Krznaric sticks out like a sore thumb. The philosopher and writer believes that empathy, rather than self-preservation, will change the world and get us through the cold, dark nights.

Krznaric, who spent his formative years in Australia and now lives in the UK, defines empathy as the “imaginative ability to put yourself in someone else’s position and look at the world through their eyes.” But can empathy prevail in a world where governments keep their borders closed, where race, religion, gender and sexuality are still used as tools for hatred?

We spoke to Krznaric about the empathy revolution.

Why is empathy so important to you?

I used to be a political scientist, and I used to think you could change society through elections and changing institutions. But I’ve gradually learnt that if you want to really change things, you change them one conversation at a time, one empathic encounter at a time — where from the grassroots up, people try and treat each other as human beings. Whether it’s a husband and a wife in a household, or work colleagues, or strangers on the street.

I think like everybody I’ve had experiences in my life where I’ve learnt that empathy really matters. In my 20s, I lived in a refugee community in Guatemala just south of the Mexican border. There was a civil war going on, I was in a village without running water or electricity, and kids dying of malnutrition. And you suddenly see this other world, and it kind of rips you open into empathy in a way. You really get it.

Do we naturally display empathy?

It’s ingrained in our DNA: scientists say about 50% of our empathic capacities are inherited in our genetic makeup. But, we can also get better at it. It does develop naturally in children, so by the age of about two or three, most kids can see the perspective of another child and realise that the other child might care about things differently — they might like a different toy for example. I’m a great advocate of teaching empathy because it can be nurtured; you can challenge the assumptions and prejudices that we’re often brought up with, and learn to empathise and make it a habit to put yourself in someone else’s position.

Do you think society is generally empathic?

No. I think the way society is set up is to crush empathy. Our schools are highly competitive, they foster competition and individualism rather than cooperation and empathy. Businesses are like that as well, and the media feeds a toxic ‘us and them’ mentality — Islam vs the west, for example. And of course, you’ve got the whole advertising industry and consumer culture saying: what’s in it for you, look after yourself, satisfy your own desires and your own egotistic end. I think we’ve got a long way to go socially.

Is there a place for competition and individualism in society?

18th Century philosopher David Hume once said that human beings are both serpents and doves. We are part individualistic creatures and part empathic creatures, and we need to work with both of those things.

Could people who don’t display much empathy simply be looking after their own wellbeing?

Yeah and I think you see this, particularly in times of economic austerity. People who have been in long-term unemployment and they just want to look after their families — their moral circle becomes very small. But what’s really interesting about that is that empathy tends to be higher in poor communities as opposed to rich communities. Rich people don’t feel they need to be reliant on anybody else, they can buy what they need. Whereas in poor communities, a lot of research on this shows that people have to cooperate to share tools or food — they help each other out.

So it’s not simply the case that when things are tough, we just revert into an individualistic shell. Often that’s exactly when communities need to act together. You see these very tough circumstances where after 9/11 in New York — what happened? Right on the ground, you had rich and poor, black and white, Jews and Muslims working together. It bought out empathy. Even at the toughest times, empathy is around.

Is anyone born without empathy?

A very tiny percentage of people. Neuroscientists say that about 1% of people are born with psychopathic tendencies. It’s in their brain wiring and very, very tough to change in some people.

Can traumatic events or big life changes halt empathic development?

That definitely happened to me. My Mum died when I was a kid, and I not only lost my memories from before that age, but in a way I also lost my empathy and became quite emotionally distanced from people. Trauma of any kind — whether it’s trauma through a parental death or trauma because you’ve been fighting in Afghanistan — it can absolutely have very serious psychological effects.

Can people be too empathic?

I think you find some people get emotionally overloaded by other people’s feelings and circumstances. What’s interesting is that people in those circumstances — for example, trauma nurses, humanitarian aid workers — they learn to keep a bit of distance. I mean, if you work on a suicide helpline, you don’t take one call after the other without stopping. You stop, debrief, and take a break. You’ve got to fit your own oxygen mask before you fit somebody else’s, you’ve got to know where your own limits are. What’s really interesting is that even people who feel emotionally overwhelmed by empathy, still tend to people who act on behalf of others. It doesn’t paralyse them into inaction.

Has any research been done into whether people display empathy more individually or in a group?

There was a famous experiment done in the 1960s called the Milgram experiment. It was a psychology experiment with students from Yale University. They were put individually in a room, and there was an actor in the next room. The participants were told by a guy in a white coat to give that person a memory test, and if they got something wrong, to press a button which would give the person an electric shock.The famous finding was that in 65% of cases, people would give shocks to levels that would kill the other person, even when they could hear them calling out. But they kept doing it because the scientist told them to do so.

But when those subjects were put in the room in pairs, and one refused to keep pressing the button, the original subject refused to do it as well. In 90% of cases they refused to administer the electric shock. The lesson there is that collective solidarity can actually increase empathy.

Is the other lesson there that power can be a barrier to empathy?

Absolutely. Ideologies, power, hierarchy, authority. The famous case is in the Holocaust where the concentration camp commandants said: I was just following orders. Which sounds like a bit of an empathy get out clause, but when your life or your family’s life is in danger, empathy can go out the window.

Can political power be a barrier to empathy?

It can in a sense that I think politicians are constantly manipulating society. The classic example in Australia is when Mr Abbott was always talking about ‘illegals’ to describe asylum seekers, a word which is very pejorative. The former Keating speechwriter Don Watson used to say if you use the world illegals over and over again, you dehumanise people. Of course, politicians know that language is really powerful.

What do you think has happened to our policymakers along the way to make them lose their empathy?

I’ve lived in England for a long time so it is hard for me to comment. But what I do know is that it’s very strange: you’ve got a country that’s been built on migration — between 1945 and 1965, two million immigrants came to Australia, including my father and stepmother. Why has this policy become what it has in the past ten years given this particular history? I don’t know where those fears come from — I guess ultimately a lot of it is about pure racism. It’s skin colour stuff, it’s the business of prejudice.

What can the public do to inspire policymakers to turn to empathy?

Partly we need to pressure politicians and governments about the core things — like let’s introduce empathy into schools, into the judicial system with things like restorative justice programs. But partly it’s about public pressure, letting the politicians know that people care about the rights of people in detention, for example. We need to scare politicians into realising that these things matter and that empathy can be a force for change. Historically this has always been a great struggle, and there have always been people on the social margins — whether it’s Indigenous people, women, issues surrounding gay rights. There always has to be a struggle to turn rights into a reality, but we can’t just rely on empathic leaders to do that: we need to be on the streets.

What’s your end goal with all this empathy chat?

I’m a writer, and I used to think that writing books would be enough. But I’ve learned over the years that ultimately I want to create conversations in public culture about empathy, and to inspire people about taking empathy seriously in public life — whether it’s in schools, or judicial institutions, but also in family life. Domestic violence is a massive issue in this country and many others. It’s about trying to give people a concept which they can work with as a counter to our hyper-individualistic culture. Everybody knows what it means to step into somebody else’s shoes — everybody does it, everybody appreciates it when somebody else does it for them. It’s something anyone can grasp.

Empathy I think, is the key to creating a society of greater human rights. It’s about stepping outside the boundaries of who you are.

Everybody knows what it means to step into somebody else’s shoes — everybody does it, everybody appreciates it when somebody else does it for them. It’s something anyone can grasp. Empathy I think, is the key to creating a society of greater human rights. It’s about stepping outside the boundaries of who you are.