What Drives YOU?
You ever wake up repeatedly day after day and know you were made for something bigger than yourself? Like if there was a void in you as a person that could not be filled until you sought out and executed that very thing that makes you feel complete? Alive almost? Thats what music feels like to me and the whole void thing has been my issue for the past few years. It sounds a little creepy at first but let me explain.
I knew very early on that I loved music.
Growing up I knew music was my calling because I was naturally drawn to it and also because I was terrible at sports — still am. I remember my mother telling me stories about how I would give concerts in our living room and how I used my great grandmother’s cane as a microphone (picture that). In 4th grade I was forced to play that god forsaken recorder that for some reason all schools decided was the best choice for the musical development of their children and despite my hatred for that thing I do remember sitting in that music class wondering what it would be like to play other instruments. Once I reached middle school I started to pick up more instruments but this time because I genuinely enjoyed them. It wasn’t until I was like in 10th grade, however, that I realized that my true calling aside from playing music was creating it. A friend and I did a project where we made a documentary about the process of creating the instrumental section of a song and then recored an original instrumental of our own. I remember we recorded it in a church with very minimal equipment and boy did it sound horrible. At that time though it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard, not because of the content or the quality, but because it was my work. I had contributed to creating it.
From that moment on I knew music production and audio engineering were my purpose
The only problem was that I did very little to pursue it — this is where the void issue comes in. During that time I was getting ready to head off to college and well my music was not at the top of the priority list at that point. In college I started to explore more and learn about different techniques regarding music production but I never actually did anything to get the bus moving! Fast forward 3 years later and now we have my first website. I am extremely proud of this site because it was my first real move towards what I love in what seems like forever. It was me taking all my excuses and throwing them out the window in exchange for a step forward. It was me taking my insecurities as an artist and choosing to ignore them by putting my content on the internet, for everyone to listen and for everyone to judge.
I know this isn’t exactly the most interesting or shocking post, but sitting here late at night I was inclined to share with you all a snippet of my story so that if you are in a position where you feel like you have a void of your own, whether it be with music, painting, that new business you’ve been wanting to start, that you too can feel maybe a little more empowered to ignore your insecurities and halt the excuses. The world is what we make of it and the good news is that almost everything is possible, we just have to go get it.