Taken for granted

Darling,

You have been asking, for a few years now:

Why are you always taken for granted?

Why are you not worth a fight?

Why do they always let you go?

Those are the wrong questions, my dear.

The truth lies in asking the correct questions. And you know the questions are right when they enable you to take charge of your life and responsibility over the events of your life.

Some of the correct questions are:

Why are you always settling for a man that is almost what you want?

Why do you accept their shortcomings?

Why don’t you challenge their misbehaviors?

Why do you accept when they act with irresponsibility towards your sacred feelings?

You accept such men, because you do not like to be alone. Being alone means growing up and strong. It means facing challenges on your own, means leaving childhood behind.

You do not like to wake up without a face to kiss, to go to sleep without a body to love. Because it means that you have to value your own face, take care of your own body, prioritize your time alone, and face your shortcomings.

You do not like to dream of your future, because if something goes wrong there is no one else to blame. You do not wish to be fully responsible for the mistakes you make.

You accept a man that is still weakly attached because you want to be the saving woman. And you want this for recognition. As if the man in your life was one of your students. To give you value.

You accept a man that is not all there, because you do not believe you deserve one that is ready. You think you are falling short in life and you are scared of not being good enough. You are ashamed of your past, that is why you talk about it non stop. You want forgiveness for the mistakes you made, acceptance for the person you become. All from outside intimate sources.

You do not challenge men misbehavior because you hate confrontation. You hate the way your father yelled at you. You hate the danger of pissing someone off, and you fail to notice it makes you even more aggressive, and when you explode nothing is left.

You do not honor your feelings. You do not honor your sacred. You are so scared of not living a great love story that you try to make one from the first guy that kind of fits the plot. It starts as an act, and then you fall in love, and then you lose your identity.

You know what you want!

You want an age appropriate man, with respect for all of life’s manifestations. You want a man capable of silence, that do not lack critical thinking, and allows anyone to talk about anything without restrictions.

You want a man that loves dogs, wants children, collects books, loves Mozart and Beethoven.

You want a man that will cherish your heart and idolize your brain, that will kiss your hands with the same passion he takes your body, that will spend hours with you, just for the sake of being together, no agenda, no other plans, no need for movement or great stories.

You want a man that is not afraid of success. That likes to travel, play, dance, eat amazing food and spend time with friends. That will drink wine, and appreciate your company and how out of control you get when you are having fun with your girls.

A man that will dance fly me to the moon with you, and sing it at your ear while you dance it.

You want a man that will have intentionality in your encounters. That will celebrate your messages and calls, and correct your misspellings, your misbehaviors, your acts of selfishness.

You want a man that will be committed to you. That will want your child, will want your smiles, your name, your future.

Is not little what you want, dear.

Is no small amount.

You seem to want everything, and I know you will have it.

He is out there, somewhere, hoping and wishing to find you.

Praying that you be real, that you be true.

And you will soon find each other, I know it.

I feel it!

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