Do you follow your own advice?

Admit it, when it comes to living, it’s easier to give advice than to receive it. It’s easier to tell people how to live their own lives than to make changes to your own.
You know that, for others, life becomes manageable when one follows good advice. And you have plenty of advice for those around you.
But ask yourself: are you following your own advice?
You are an expert on other people’s lives
When others are struggling, the answers to their problems are obvious to you. You see what your family members, friends, and coworkers are doing wrong, and you immediately know what they need to change to live healthier lives. You can pinpoint with remarkable accuracy the problems in their logic, the ignorance in their statements, and the co-dependence in their relationships. You are, whether you care to admit it or not, an expert in other people’s lives.
A friend with relationship problems? It is painfully clear to you what needs to be done.
A coworker with bad boundaries? You have a word or two about that.
A sister with bad judgement? You know you would never make decisions the way she does.
You realize that, if only this person did this, or said that, or responded this way, then everything would be different. Every solution is readily apparent to you, and all that is required for people to solve their problems is for them to just do it — to just take action.
You act like you have no control over your own life

On the other hand, when it comes to your own life, you have infinite understanding that the world is more difficult than it seems. You have excuses like a fish has water; you are immersed in them. If something bad happens, you chalk it up to bad luck or someone else’s unfair advantages.
Life is a Ferris wheel, and you don’t have control of when you get off because someone else put you on the ride in the first place. The ride is nice for the most part; it has its highs and lows, but it’s trajectory is outside of your control. Sure, the person with the power running it all will left you off eventually, but you have resigned yourself to the fact that you know you will just be getting on another ride. You’ll trade a machine that spins vertically for turns horizontally. Different perspective, same general idea.
You have more power than you think
So how do you get off the ride? How do you live in the ways that you suggest to your peers? How do you collect the pearls of wisdom you bestow upon others? You start by realizing that you have more power than you realize.
To live in a way that is mentally healthy — to gain some agency over your own life — you need to accept that you are getting caught up in self-defeating thought loops. I can’t get that job because I’m not qualified enough. I don’t have the experience so they will never accept me. My current job takes all of my time and prevents me from pursuing other opportunities. This is how it is, so I guess I will just stick it out where I am a bit longer. But I sure wish I had a different job…
Never mind that other people quit their current jobs and get new jobs all of the time. Never mind that people make big life changes — whether by choice or by necessity — all of the time. Your life, somehow, is different. If people only understood what you were going through, they would see why you can’t make changes right now to improve your life.
This thinking limits you, and it is time for you to break free. You need to start following the advice you give so readily to others. In other words, you need to follow your own advice.
What do you see when you look at yourself?
Try this: What do you see when you look at yourself from a distance? It sounds silly, but I want you to try it. Zoom out 10 feet and picture that you are an actor in your own movie. Do you like what you see? Is the protagonist impassioned and ambitious, or is his acting stale? Are the scenes varied and exciting, or do they all seem to blend together?
When you look at yourself with healthy detachment, you create the space needed to notice where you could make changes to your life. At first, you will see opportunities to make small tweaks. What If I got up an hour early to run in the morning? How would that make me feel? What if I packed my lunch and laid out my work clothes the night before? Would that help me feel less stressed.
When you view yourself from a distance, you will start to notice things you didn’t see before. You will see that being the person working late at the office every day of the week to please everyone but himself is not such an admirable pursuit after all.
But you will likely also notice other aspects of yourself — positive aspects — that were outside of your awareness until now. You will see how hard you work to provide for your family. You will see the tireless effort you have put in to pursue your education. From a distance, you can see the person who you are and the current narratives running your life. With newfound objectivity, you will realize the power you have over your own life.

The advice you give to others you can actually give to yourself. After all, you’re your own oldest friend. You’ve known yourself the longest. It’s time to start trusting yourself. It’s time to follow your own advice.
Do you like my writing? I would sure appreciate a long, awkward slow clap below. And if you are feeling especially happy-clappy, you can clap on over to www.nerve10.com, where I am striving to make mental health more accessible.
Thanks for reading.
