Do you think we are supposed to be happy?

Do you think we are supposed to be happy? No, this is not some existential cry for help; this is a real question. Is the point of it all to be happy? Do we spend our entire lives developing the one perfect formula that guarantees our happiness? I mean, why else would we be here? Isn’t pure joy the strongest of the emotions? Or, is it that we are asking the wrong question? Maybe, by being tethered to our emotions, we aren’t yet free to understand the mysterious, ephemeral beauty of life itself?

I drove to and from Browning today for work. That is to say, I had about six hours of window time with two colleagues. I’m a big fan of “real” conversations, and I feel that we had plenty of them today — whole gobs full of reality, spoon-fed to each other in digestible morsels. At one point, I rattled off some sophomoric line about the lives of simple people, and I immediately regretted the comment. However, the precipitating words were spoken all in an effort to ask: “Do you think the point of it all is to be happy?” I should back up even more. I asked, “Is it really true that an unexamined life is a life not worth living?” Certainly, there are plenty of people who never grapple with this question, and they seem to do just fine. From the backseat came an answer: “I think happiness is artificial.” Huh.

Maybe happiness is artificial. Maybe it is only an elusive mirage of our own making. If it is, then why do we constantly and feverishly seek it out? I thought about that for a bit. Then I said, “Maybe you are right. Maybe happiness is artificial. Now that I think about it, the times that I have been the happiest are times that I have felt most present, most completely in the present moment. I don’t think it’s about happiness; I think it’s more about connectedness.” From the driver’s seat came another voice, agreeing with epiphany.

I don’t think we want to be happy all the time; I think we want to be understood. I think we want to be heard. I think we want to feel like we matter. We want to be acknowledged. We want to be. Happiness is the stuff of rollercoasters and merit awards. Connectedness is something else entirely. Should I chase happiness, or should I just chase? Should I pursue dreams, or should I just pursue? Is it the outcome, or is it the present moment? Maybe whenever I stop searching I will find out.