“You Just Want My Money!”
(and other beliefs that are keeping you from getting the help you need)
“You just want my money, Jen. You’re not gonna get it.” –tech manager who needs help leveling-up his career but, unfortunately, will not receive it
Have you ever thought something similar? That a service provider (like a coach) “just wants your money?”
This is a belief that could be holding you back from getting the help that you truly need.
And look, I get it. There are service providers (coaches, recruiters, etc.) who are truly evil — who just want your money. For them, it’s a transactional thing.
Insert client, output cash.
But if you’ve been following me, you know that’s not what I’m about.
And it’s a shame that some folks have this belief. “All these Facebook ads, emails from recruiters, they just want money.”
But if you need help, whether it’s finding a job, upgrading your career, really leveling up your leadership skills, is that a belief that’s serving you?
Is that a belief that’s gonna help you get where you wanna go?
If you believe that I just want your money, then you’re never gonna get my help, because you’re never gonna get to the point where you can see that there are folks like me, who are not in it for the money.
And look, I talk about money a lot. It’s a taboo topic that lots of people are uncomfortable talking about. We need to get more comfortable as a society, especially in the tech world, talking about money — talking about salaries and salary transparency and getting paid what we’re worth.
Also, I run a business. To keep the business afloat, yeah, I need to bring in revenue, or else the business doesn’t exist and I can’t continue to help people.
But, what gets me out of bed every morning is not the money. It’s a pull to help the tech community. It’s about doing everything I can to help tech managers have the careers of their dreams and get paid what they’re worth without having to work an insane amount of hours.
For me, it’s not about the money. And the true test of that is:
When I get folks on the phone who aren’t a fit for my program, I say “No” to them. I tell them it’s not a fit.
If I was just in it for the money, and someone was not a fit, I would strong arm them and I would say:
“Let’s do this, we need to do this!” and I would use every dirty influence tool in the book to get the money from the person. Even though they’re not a fit, even though I probably can’t help them, even though they may not be ready.
But I don’t do that. The true test of any service provider, whether it’s a coach, or a recruiter, or someone else: if you’re not a fit, they will tell you that, and they will steer you towards resources that will be helpful to you.
And something interesting happens when I get people on the phone who are not a fit AND who are SUPER tied to this belief that “she’s just in it for the money.”
It’ll get to the point in the conversation where they think the pitch is coming, — they think I’m gonna pitch my program — but I’ll tell them, “You know what? At this point, I don’t think we’re a fit to work together. I think the best thing for you to do is…” and then I’ll map out a game plan — my recommendations for who to contact, books to read, maybe a homework assignment or two.
And there’s audible confusion.
“What just happened here?”
“So, the phone call’s over?”
“Where’s the pitch? How much is your program?”
Rest assured: I’m not going to pitch you something that you won’t find valuable.
And here’s what else I know for certain: There are other service providers who follow this same principle.
We truly — from the bottom of our hearts — have YOUR best interests at heart. If we think it’s in our best interests to work together, great. Double win.
But if it’s not a fit, it doesn’t serve our businesses for us to push you into something that isn’t going to work.
So ask yourself:
When you look through your Facebook ads, when you read promotional emails, when a recruiter reaches out to you…
Are you thinking, “They just want my money”?
And what if you shifted this belief? What if, instead, you think:
“They’re here to serve me. Thank you for putting this Facebook ad in front of me because I do need some help with that. And I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and I’m gonna test you to see if you really can help me, and if you’re really in it to serve.”
Be open to getting the help that you need. Otherwise, you’re never gonna get it.
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