One of the most difficult things a startup needs to do is the act of selling. It is not only one of the most difficult but also one of the most essential parts of a business. I don't understand people that says “Anyone can sell that” or “That is easy to sell”. If you actually tried to sell that product you would realize how hard and frustrating it can be.
Selling, as teaching, is one of that things that seems easy to do when you look from the outside but when you actually try to do it you realize how hard they are. I think this counter intuitive reaction we have is part of the reasons we look down on teachers or salesmen as tasks they are easy to do. From my own experience I can say that both are extremely difficult to achieve on an expert level without going through a process of huge frustration. The main reason what they are so frustrating are because of the fact of having to deal with people and their/our emotions.
So, why do we avoid selling? I believe it has to do with the feelings we experience:
Ignored
Rejection
Embarrassed
Frustrated
Mistreated
I have found that we mostly end with one of this feelings, before, after or during the moment we are selling. We don't want to be Ignored when we talk to the person and she doesn't care about our product. When we track that emails to our users and we know they have open it but they haven't reply. That feeling in your gut where you feel alone and ignored. Rejection is probably the most common of them. We are wired to want to be loved and liked. We can’t understand why would people reject us and put as a side. As a guy that sold door to door products once told me: “The best salesman are not the ones that take 3 “No’s” for an answer, but the ones that take 6. There is a certain limit of rejection that a human can take. In both sides of the sale.” Embarrassed comes to play when someone tells you YES, and then the expectations don't meet reality. When you sold something knowing that is was not ready, you convinced that person, and then you let them down. We feel we want to dig a hole and hide. Frustrated! This can come as a result of many of the preview feelings described or just a lack of patience itself. “If they knew what I know!” we tell ourselves. But they don’t. The feelings comes out as much as a about others as about ourselves. We are frustrated about others that “don't get it” or with our efforts not being enough or not being the right ones. Mistreated is probably the hardest of all. When we are yell or even physical mistreated, our part of our soul get hurt. It is difficult to overcome and to forget. Those that don't get affected have built an armor around them that separate them from getting hurt. The issue is that this armor also separates them from really feeling grateful, happy or loved.
I believe you can teach, train and learn how to deal with all this feelings but you will never be immune to them as they are part of our human condition.
If you are working on a startup you will certainly have to sell and experience these feelings. It will help to understand them. We have to go through them to grow as a person and to understand what it takes to build something meaningful. If you have been through this please tell me here or on twitter. I would love to know your thoughts.
To those starting, I salute you.
