Every article about following your dreams is the same

You’ve gotta have a big, majestic photo of nature at the top. The ocean is always a good choice. (Photo by Michael Durana)

First comes the inspirational quote.

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” — Og Mandino

Followed by a tangentially-related personal anecdote.

When I was but a child my beloved father worked in the coal mines for twelve hours a day, eight days a week. He seemed happy enough but I always knew something was missing from his pathetic life. One day I asked if he had any regrets. He told me that he never chased his dream of going to clown college, joining the circus, and becoming the world’s best juggler (probably because he was the sole provider for our family of sixteen), but still, he totally should have done that.

This is usually where the rhetorical questions begin.

How many times have you given up your precious and beautiful creative dreams before they even began to sell out to some garbage corporation?

Are you living your most fulfilling life in spite of economic turmoil and every other aspect of adult life that contributes to the crushing weight that is modern human existence, and why is the answer definitely no?

Why are you such a lazy piece of shit in a dead-end job you don’t care about instead of being the creative genius making millions that you know you really are?

Oops, it’s about time for another nature picture.

Trees or other plants are good. Maybe something out of focus. (Photo by Angela Benito)

Up next is the part where the writer makes you feel guilty for living a mediocre life because you need a day job that pays the bills.

Life is simple and this is a fact: you’re going to die alone full of horrible regrets if you don’t drop everything to chase your dreams!

Quit your job! Tell your boss to fuck off! Sell your house well below market value! Throw all of your possessions in the car and push it into a gorge! Burn your clothes! Punch a cop! LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!

This is the part of the article where any sort of practical advice on how to accomplish any of this should be, but always seems to be missing.

The most important thing is DOING THE THING THAT YOU WANT TO DO! It’s so obvious and simple that you’re clearly an idiot for not doing it sooner.

Here’s where you talk about how fear is bad and people aren’t following their dreams because they’re afraid.

Fear is holding you back. Fear is bad. Fear is fear. Fear fear fear. Fear.

Fear of not succeeding. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding in failing and failing to succeed. Fear of having no food or shelter since all of this advice boils down to: just quit your job, it’ll work out!

Let’s move on to some terms that aren’t expanded upon but sound good on paper.

Mindfulness! Gratitude! Purpose! Contentment! Meditation!

Finally, end with a list of one-word sentences that are literally just verbs.

Create. Dance. Paint. Hug. Write. Play. Walk. Cook. Laugh. Love. Dream. Fetch. Drink. Annoy. Lick. Bleed. Bite. Nap. Squeeze. Fart. Sleep. Live!!!

I’m a long-time aspiring writer that’s making an effort to realize those aspirations through daily blogging.

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