Amazon announce amazing new device

This remarkable new voice activated network connected device lets you control your environment with ease.

Order a taxi, order food, check today’s weather, leave a message for a friend, talk in real time in a private conversation or with others. Not only that but you can have it call you like an alarm clock, or indeed just use it to check the time. As an added benefit, it’s directly linked to emergency services so if your home automation system goes catastrophically wrong you can get hold of the fire brigade or an ambulance or your stockbroker.

The device is available at a discounted initial price. It’s thought the supplier will make money by charging a monthly fee based on usage. Enthusiasts can even install one in each room of their home so that voice activated convenience is always at hand. Not only that, but multiple devices in a home can be used to communicate between rooms — ideal if you’ve been locked in the front parlour, by a careless maid.

A spokesman for the company said “Voice is the most natural way for people to interact, so we’ve focused on a new device that will let you do everything just by talking and paying us money.”

“Is this the beginning of a revolution in how we interact with the world?” Asked an executive, rhetorically, “Or is it just a hugely exciting new development in data mining and stock price inflation?”