THE LIBERTARIAN BIBLE: A Version That Conforms To The Libertarian Weltanschauung

A Parody 😬 by @JJManring

“In the beginning God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. Then God said, ‘I like My light, this light is mine. If you want light go out and create your own, you drag on society!’”

“Then Cain said to God, ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ God replied, ‘Absolutely not! Let the son of a gun starve to death for all I care!! And if your brother, sister, friend, neighbor, mild acquaintance wants the road free of snow so they can get to work, let ‘em buy their own plow and get moving!!!’

“Then God said, ‘There will always be poor among you, you shall open your hand to your brother, your needy, the poor of the land.’”

Libertarian: “But Lord, You told us earlier we could let these types ‘stave to death.’ What’s with that?”

God replied: “Oh, feed ‘em only if they adopt your narrow interpretation of My Word. Otherwise they’ll only breed like stray animals!”

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