You’re back story and description of your thoughts feel like they have been pulled out of my own brain. Even your suicide attempt was almost identical to my experience….also the pot thing…definitely the pot thing. I’ve been feeling pretty damn good recently. I’ve decided to convince myself that I am a writer and I’m focusing as much energy as I can (while I’m feeling well) towards that. The thing about surviving a suicide attempt is that you’ve literally conquered death. You have basked in the fires of hell and now you’re back to this realm. This world with fuck with you for the rest of your life but you know that. You are Sisyphus and you know it’s all for not but you’re going to look around and enjoy the view from the mountain before you get knocked back down gain. Amen brother. You’re a fucking great human. Thank you for your honesty.