Stop Doing These If You Truly Want To Forgive and Let Go.
Whenever you go through a difficult situation where someone has hurt you, you’re almost guaranteed to hear “forgive” and/or “let go”. And although those two pieces of advice are generally offered by well-meaning individuals, the reality is, it’s not so easy to forgive and forget.
What’s worse, is that this unfortunate reality can be compounded by the way you respond to the situation. And to compound things even further is that fact that your response is most likely in autopilot mode so that you don’t even realize what you’re doing.
This is what used to happen to me. Now if I find myself in a situation that is the perfect setup to be hurt and hold on to unforgiveness, I am able to start turning things around when I purpose not to do these three things so that I can let it go.
1) Don’t Get Offended.
Sometimes people say or do things and our first response is to get offended. It is this offense that can open the door to us feeling hurt.
One good practice is to:
- notice when you start feeling hurt and don’t react by saying or doing anything right away,
- give the benefit of the doubt and assume the person didn’t mean to hurt or offend you (even or especially if you think they did!)
- if necessary, ask clarifying questions or repeat what they said and verify that you interpreted it correctly. It could be a simple miscommunication issue.
2) Don’t Replay It In Your Mind.
As someone who is more “introvertedly inclined”, it’s very easy for me to process inwardly. The scene in my head can be very loud at times!
If you can relate or tend to worry and think negatively of yourself, others or situations then when you’re feeling hurt this tendency is only ramped up. One good practice to interrupt negative thought patterns is to:
- find something positive and choose to think about that instead (for starters, you can use the examples from above: the person didn’t mean to hurt you, it was a simple miscommunication),
- speak it out loud. Actually say the thoughts that you would rather think on. Nothing interrupts your thoughts faster than you speaking out loud.
3) Don’t Keep Talking About It.
If by the time you read this blog post you’re already “bad mouthing” the other person involved, STOP. The reason speaking out loud has the ability to interrupt your negative thought patterns is because your words have greater creative power than your thoughts.
When you keep speaking about a negative situation especially with no goal of moving forward then you’re just reinforcing that reality, keeping yourself stuck and making it even harder to forgive and let go.
Choose instead to zip your lips and adhere to the old adage: “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
Practice these three things and you’ll be well on your way to forgiving and letting go of painful situations so you can move forward to living your best.
If you want to take things a step further then join me for a FREE, live, online/teleconference event on March 24, 7:30 PM ET.
Forgive — the Easy Way! SIGN UP NOW.
LOVE’s message to you:
Love isn’t selfish
or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
of wrongs that others do.
Originally published at www.jliacocreative.com.