Me and the roller coaster… again.
This is me. My melodramatic self, yet again.
No, I’m not contemplating on doing something horrible to myself, but I must admit that I feel like I’m in a glass case of emotion again.
Just take note for my followers, this post is about my daily personal thoughts. Read at your own risk.
The pressure is building up inside of me with all the stuff that I need to do, particularly the thesis (which seems to be a never-ending case of trial and error), Anime Pilipinas (which I have yet to post anything new for the past 20 days, what a lousy editor I am.) and another side-project that is over a year in the making.
I needed some release and have fun for once, which is why I tried calling a friend for some random stuff… but all I hear is that horrible sound of “subscriber cannot be reached…”
I was wondering why he is not answering the phone, even if he is online on Facebook. I’m not sure if he is busy or something, and I don’t want to be rude like some person that we mutually know… but anxiety is getting the better of me yet again.
I was at the Light Rail station, waiting for that response that may never come. While everyone is moving at a rapid pace, I was just there… Stuck.
I was looking at the street below me, the cars and the people are moving, but I’m just there… Stuck.
It became a metaphor of my life. I’m 25 years old, while some people at my age already have a flourishing careers with good paying jobs, I’m still at that flood-prone university.
I've just decided to go home, but that feeling never left me. I’m overthinking a lot of things right now, and I barely want to eat. I don’t want to feel this way, but that is what I’m feeling right now.
Right now, I’m just looking at the computer monitor and waiting for the unknown, while CNN International is on the television because it is a good background noise.
I’m also contemplating my social media presence. As much as I want to deactivate, I’m also in control of a lot of things that needed to be promoted. My other friends also have their own lives to think about.
I hope I could see the bright light from all this clutter right now… but for now, I may just spend the holiday in my room and bracing for this roller coaster of a day.