What I’ve shown you in my articles so far are concepts that can actually be applied in your everyday life, not only for girls (opening, attraction and connection). However, there is one thing that should be different between an interaction with your friends and an interaction with the girl you like : sexual tension. This tension that you both feel when you look at each other’s eyes. Slowly looking at her lips, feeling her body reacting to your gentle touch on her skin, embracing the silence to experience this sexual tension fully.
This one concept, if you master it well, will be one the most important tool in your bag. But first…
What is sexualization in game ?
Sexualization means showing sexual intent. Meaning that it moves the interaction away from anything that is platonic. Have you ever been on a date where everything went pretty well in the beginning but slowly, the girl lost interest overtime? Well, one of the most common reason is a lack of sexualization. Indeed, if you think about it, it’s really difficult for a sexual interaction to be boring. Moreover, Sexualizing the interaction give her the proper expectation: You are here for a potential romantic purpose , not here to find a good buddy to talk about how sad Titanic is.
Why is it so important to sexualize?
a) KEEPING YOU AWAY FROM THE FRIENDZONE!!!
Yes. Sorry, it reminded me of past experiences. I was the friendzone guy. Always had a first-class ticket to this no man’s land. Indeed, I was one with the friendzone, and the friendzone was one with me. Dark period. Lucky you, after reading this article on sexualization, you’ll never feel this pain of “let’s be friend”, ever. So pay close attention and take notes, this could be the most important moment of your life.
b) Moving the interaction forward
The Biggest risk is to take zero risk. The most common mistake guys make when it comes to dating is to play it too safe. Not taking any (calculated) risk. Meaning, most of the time, not sexualizing enough. Indeed, if you don’t sexualize your interactions, they will go nowhere. I remember once, I went on an endlesss rampage of dates with an amazingly beautiful redhead make up artist girl. She had everything a girl could wish for. Except my sexual intent. Lol. I actually knew what to do to take the interaction forward but I was too scared to lose her. I ended up becoming the good asian friend who took her on cool “dates” (this girl actually opened my eyes on a lot of things, if you’re reading this Juliet, thank you). Don’t do the same mistake as me… Sexualize and move the interaction forward for god sake!
c) Man to woman polarity
Like I said in the introduction, sexual tension should be the keystone of your interaction with the girl you like. Indeed, from the outside, people should have no doubt that you two are ready to f*ck at any second just by looking at you. However, this sexual tension or sexual polarity can only be generated if you sexualize the interaction.
d) Connection fuel
If you read my previous article on Connection 101, you’ll know that connection is one of the most important concepts in game. Sexualization is actually also one connection technique. Remember when I said that you should get her talking about things she would usually share with her closest friend or family ? With sexualization, you can make her open up about her sexual fantasies. She will feel way more connected to you because she only shares this stuff with people she is very close and that she trusts. Therefore, you will set yourself apart from 90% of the other guys in her life.
c) The ultimate frame: sexual authority
The biggest DHV (Demonstration of High Value) and turned on is showing sexual authority. What do I mean by that ? If you can show that you have a certain level of expertise when it comes to sex, that you’ll know how to make them squirt and that you understand female arousal, you’ll show massive value. Indeed, 50% of girls fake their orgasm! (I’ll maybe write some articles on that in the future, tell me if you might be interested)
When to sexualize ?
You are always a sexual guy, even from your opener and in every stages of the interaction. She should think “OK, this guy has big dick energy and he could potentially f*ck me”. In other words, you are not a pussy, but a real sexual man. However, you are not sexualizing directly towards her before it’s clear that she perceives you as high value. If you sexualize on her while she perceives you as low value, you are creepy and you are gonna get blown out. If you sexualize while she perceives you as high value, she’s gonna love it. Be a high value guy and read my previous article on Attraction 101 to learn how to show high value traits.
How to sexualize ?
A) Physical escalation ladder
The first way to sexualize an interaction is through what we call a physical escalation ladder. However, your body language needs to be on point first. Here are the key concepts you need to keep in mind in your interactions : deep eye contact, closing proximity, deep expressive voice and overall relaxed body language.
Now let’s talk about physical escalation ladder. Why ladder ? Because you are not going to heavily make out with her the moment you say hi in 99% of the cases. That’s why you’ll have to escalate the ladder of physicality. From the step 0 (no touch) to the last step (sex obviously, there is no more physical step further than that. Maybe anal. Lol). You need to make her feel comfortable with your touch first. Indeed, since she is only comfortable when it comes to physicality with people she trusts, she will backward rationalize she trusts you. Therefore, physical escalation is also a connection technique.
There are 3 ladders in physical escalation : Plausible deniability, romantic and sexual physicality.
a) Plausible deniability physicality
Plausible deniability gives a reason behind your touch. For example, a hug, touching her wrist cause you are looking at her watch, taking her hand for palm reading, touching her cheeks cause there are cute etc. She is thinking “Oh he is touching me, but it’s normal, there is a reason why”
b) Romantic physicality
Contrary to the plausible deniability physicality, the romantic one has no reason of touching besides that you like her. For instance, holding her hand, stroking her legs or inner part of her arm, hand behind her back etc.
⚠️ Don’t look at the places you touch her for romantic escalation otherwise it looks like it’s a big deal for you. Therefore, it means that you are not comfortable with it and thus showing low value traits.
c) Sexual physicality
This one is the same as the romantic physicality, there is no reason behind your physicality besides that you like her. However, you are now escalating on more intimate part of her body. For example the neck, pulling her hair, choking her etc… until sex.
⚠️ The more you go up the physical ladder, the more isolation you need. You will usually not finger her in the middle of the road. Just saying.
How to go up this ladder ?
There are 3 signs a girl can give you when you are escalating the ladder. Red, orange and green.
Red sign, she backs off and you see her tensing up. Back off too, let go of your physicality and even apologize if you scared her too much. That means you need to build more value then try again later.
Orange sign, she neither backs off or reciprocate your physicality. She has a neutral response. Then same as the red light, let go of your physicality, build more value then try again later.
Green sign, she is reciprocating your physicality. For instance, you are hugging her and she is hugging you back. You are holding her hand and she is squeezing yours etc. Then, you can move on to the next step.
B) Verbal escalation ladder
Same as the physical ladder, you are also climbing a verbal ladder. However, there are 2 different ways to climb this ladder. You can either climb it with intent or with compliance hoops. Don’t worry if it sounds confusing, this term were invented by the pioneers of game. Let me explain it to you with simple words.
a) Escalating verbally with intent
In this escalation model, you are escalating the verbal ladder with what we call intent. You are showing your intentions to the girl. Showing her that you are interested in a romantic way. “You are cute” and “you are fucking sexy” are two examples of verbal intent. However, there are at different locations in the verbal ladder. “You are cute” is located pretty low in the verbal ladder whereas “you are fucking sexy” is pretty high. That’s why it’s important to have a progression in this verbal ladder to make it smooth. Try to have your own verbal ladder. For instance, here is my own verbal ladder : Cute/attractive/sexy/compliment on overall body part/compliment on specific body part (lips, legs etc.)/ compliment on sexual body part/dirty talking
The more you go up the ladder, the more sexual tension is created. Embrace the tension, don’t break it because you cannot handle it. However, if you sense that she is going to break it, release it first. You can either release it with humor or changing the topic.
⚠️ Don’t machine gun the verbal ladder, you need to dhv, show your identity between 2 escalation steps.
b) Escalating with compliance hoop
A hoop in game means a request. For example, if I ask you to grab me a glass of water, it’s a request from me, a hoop. If you say no, you are not complying to my request. If you say yes, you are complying to my request. This is compliance hoop. If I ask you to go with me for 5 years to japan, you’ll be less likely to comply whereas I ask you to tell me your name. That’s why it is so important to have a hoop progression. Instead of asking for a big request, chunk it into smaller ones. You can use this compliance hoop progression in the verbal ladder. Here is an example of a compliance hoop progression : “I am curious, how open minded are you from a scale 1 to 10 ?”/”How adventurous are you from a scale 1 to 10?”/ “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”/ “Where’s the craziest place you had sex?”/ “Do you like getting your hair pulled ?”/ “do you like getting choke ?” etc. You get the gist. You will not ask her to comply to “do you like getting spank” if you haven’t escalate the verbal ladder, it’s creepy.
C) Frame her as chasing you
This part is very important. Indeed, if you frame her as chasing you, you are completely flipping the usual dating norm. She is no longer the hot girl every guy want to fuck in this interaction, but a girl trying to win you over. Therefore, she will be more likely to sleep with you if in her mind she is chasing you. Quite obvious but not everybody understand it and apply it effectively. Thus, while you are escalating, you want to take every opportunity that you get to frame her as escalating on you or chasing you. For instance, you can say things like “Why are you doing this to me, you’re the worst!” or “Stop it, you’re driving me crazy” even though you’re the one grabbing her neck and kissing her. Doesn’t really make sense right? I agree. But remember, game is not always logical, it’s most of the time an emotional communication.
⚠️ You need to say these things playfully, not seriously. You want her to keep escalating on you with reverse psychology, you don’t want to punish her interest!
D) baiting/compliance testing
One way to avoid getting a “no” when you are sexualizing is to use baiting/compliance testing. Let me explain. Basically, you are getting permission from her to be sexual. Therefore she cannot say “oh you shouldn’t talk about that” because she is the one asking you to be sexual. For example “I have to stop myself before I say some bad things”. She will ask you”what bad things ?”. Then you can bait even harder “I am not sure, it’s quite explicit, you’re probably too innocent for that” (no girls want to be called innocent). She will then give you permission to be sexual “No I am not innocent, tell me!”. Now you have a highway to sexualize the interaction.
E) Sexual tension 80/20 rule
With the right balance of pressure you create the optimal amount of sexual tension. Indeed, sexual tension can create overwhelming emotions. She’ll be more aroused but she will also be more willing to ease this tension. If you give her everything that she wants, she becomes bored and loses attraction for you (this is what happens when you make out with her too much in the club: it doesn’t really turned her on and instead give her a lot of validation). If you give her too little, you’re playing too safe. If you push her away too much, she will become either frustrated, annoyed, and will want to save face so she is not the one being rejected. Remember, only give 80 % of what she wants to make her chase the other 20%.
This post was long but this is literally everything you need to know about the fundamentals of sexualization.
Now that you have the theory, practice is still the most important part. So if you are interested to learn more or to take an one on one coaching, contact me at JSKcoaching@hotmail.com and follow me on instagram at jskcoaching.


