In his book Give and Take, Adam Grant recounts the story of a group of senior executives who were given the challenge of seeking advice on an on-going work project, with the caveat that they were to reach out to, not only current, but also former colleagues. Many of the participants loathed the idea of calling dormant ties. One grumbled… “They are dormant for a reason, right?”
Afterwards, when asked to rate the value of the advice received from each cohort, they were universally surprised to find that it was the dormant ties who provided more novel information and valuable advice.
Here’s why.
Turn-over of Relationships
When sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst researched personal networks, he found that, while the overall size of our networks remains stable, only 48% of our contacts remain constant. We actually churn about half of our friends and acquaintances every seven years.
As we cull and replace, we ourselves are being culled and replaced. People with whom we once shared our everyday lives were now out of our circles, having different experiences, facing different challenges. So when the executives went looking for advice from their inactive contacts, they were, as one of them said, “. . . very surprised by the fresh ideas.”
Dormant Ties are the Neglected Value in Our Networks
Years ago, I knew a wonderful management consultant who spent the Friday before Father’s Day calling old clients to touch base and say Happy Fathers Day. At the time — not yet a father myself — I thought it was a slightly cheesy pretext for making a call. But his motives were sincere and it had the added bonus of stirring up new business leads.
Now that I’m a father I’ve taken up his Father’s Day habit with results I find enriching on many levels. After all, the weekend isn’t all about new neck ties, golf gear, and drinks for Dad. Fatherhood and fathering are socially significant, and it’s important that we dads recognize one another’s contributions.
So as you reach out, you have a choice. You can Ping, Tweet, and Text, use all the nice, efficient forms of business communication you want. But remember that revitalizing dormant ties is a matter of personal connection, and nothing connects you at the human level like a live conversation. And when you get right down to it, isn’t personal, human connection the true currency of success at all levels?
Happy Father’s Day!
Justin Seymour is an executive search consultant based in Atlanta. Husband, and proud father of twin boys!
