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J. Winthrop Whitington IV
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We Must Oppose All Types of Fascism, Even Anti-Trump Fascism

Lately, I’m terrified all the time- even more so than usual. The dark pall of fascism has fallen over America. The stormtroopers could break down the door at any moment. Donald Trump, as the menacing specter of death currently inflicting itself on the nation like a pestilence calls itself, has already targeted immigrants, who’s to say pioneer developers of phrenology apps like me won’t be next? It is well-known Trump is of German extraction (some of his detractors have even been brave enough to refer to him by his German name, “Dr**pf”), and we all know how Germans have treated Frisians like me in the past. I’m afraid for myself, fellow members of my pod-based creative living community, and my Tinder matches- any of us could be next. I will be killed if Trump becomes president- put money on it, but you yourself might be too dead from fascism to ever collect on that bet.

There is already so much to be afraid of in this country- g*mergate, ISIS, twitter harassment, BernieBros, another tech bubble- and now Trump is trying to make us even more afraid to make himself president. It is time to stand up to him and say “no” to the fear.

With the United States imminently sinking into fascist dictatorship, it’s obvious to all right-thinking people that something must be done, the question is: what? I’ve applied the same business and tech expertise I used to develop Callipr (currently accepting investors with an eye towards a late-2018 launch. Callipr: measure your skull, measure the world) to create a plan of action to stop the jackbooted Trumpstapo in their tracks.

  1. Know your enemy. Dudebro academics like to make outlandish claims that fascism is “a system of government and social organization originating in interwar Europe characterized by chauvinistic nationalism and militarism, eliminating class conflict through corporatist social engineering, disdain for democracy and celebration of strict hierarchical systems, and spiritually cleansing the body politic through militaristic mass social mobilization,” but most serious, rational people know fascism is mostly about attacking one’s political opponents with petty acts of violence and harassment simply because they don’t agree with you. Stopping fascism means standing up to this kind of behavior wherever we see it. Whether it’s Trump fascism, anti-racist fascism, hippy anti-war fascism, or BernieBro fascism, this noxious ideology of violence and harassment must be opposed in all its forms. If our national fascism level becomes too high, whatever the source, Trump will become president.
  2. Call out fascist behavior. Fascists of all stripes are like bullies, and as we all learned in middle school, the best way to stop a bully is to tell the teacher and call his parents to get him in trouble. In the grown-up political world, this means using new media like blogs and twitter to broadcast our disgust with anyone who violates democratic norms with violence, harassment or intense rudeness, trying to get media figures to condemn them, and calling their workplaces to try to get them fired. Pop culture might stigmatize the latter as “snitching,” but I’m sorry, hip hop- I love you, but fighting fascism is too important for me to worry about what rappers think of my actions.
  3. Don’t Antagonize the Fascists. Trump’s fascism must be confronted if we are to save our own lives and the lives of our fellow rational Americans and it’s a moral imperative we owe to all of humanity and the generations who lived before us. However, that does not mean we can stoop to the level of violating norms with rudeness- as I’ve already explained, this is a form of fascism in and of itself, and anything that raises the national fascism level only helps him. But second and more importantly, antagonizing Trump supporters could make them even meaner. Remember again that fascists are just grown up bullies, and what did bullies do when we told them to “fuck off and go suck a D” in middle school? That’s right, they pulled down our shorts and made us march around the cafeteria chanting “I’m a small wiener boy.” The idea of innocent Muslims, Frisian app entrepreneurs, and immigrants being forced to march around America half-nude, chanting about their small wieners is disgusting and racist, and you help make it a reality when you do fascism to Trump supporters.

If we all stick together and adhere to this plan, we can make fascism history, and maybe pass on a country to our children in which no one is ever forced into humiliating half-nude wiener chants. That’s my dream.