Stop commenting on people’s bodies…it’s rude!

Women why do we do it? Why do many women feel like they have the right to comment on other women’s weight in a derogatory way be them on the larger side or the smaller side? I find it so confusing that women who struggle with their weight daily loosely throw terms around to other women about their size. Now I am only really qualified to give an opinion based on my own experience being a slight, thin, slim, skinny girl.

I was born, I was fed and I was healthy but I didn’t develop the same way as the other girls my age did. I remember going to the same chicken shops as my friends and eating the same meals, they were slightly bigger and I remained a size 8. I am now a 5'7, 32 year old and still weigh the same as I did when I was 16 and this is even after childbirth. Growing up I wasn’t really bothered about my weight as I was always in good health. Did I want to put on weight? Of course I did, there were certain outfits that I would have liked to have filled out a little more and I live in London, the winters are bitterly cold, insulation is needed. Could I put on weight?…No! Believe me I tried, I joined the gym, I ate stupid amounts of food which only gave me a pop belly (apparently it goes to the belly first then spreads?!?!- I was not feeling that) and it affected my skin. I did a reverse diet of Slimming World, I was the ultimate sinner and still nothing, I even tried alcohol after seeing the ballooning of a serial cider drinker on Secret eaters (I watched these programs for weight gain tips-true story). I wouldn’t say that I have the biggest appetite ever but it’s by no means small. Watching Supersize vs Superskinny offended my stomach to no end as I watched what both sides would eat. All I can do now is eat my meals and hope for the best to maintain the weight that I have on me. What I would say is that the amount of work that I’d have to put in just to gain a few pounds is just as pressing. as what someone trying to loose weight would have to do. The struggle to gain weight is real and not only applicable to weight losers.

Although I am at peace with my weight, as an adult I am amazed about how grown women can look at me and use terms such as “Skinny cow”and “Lucky bit@h” and think these are compliments. Please miss me with all of that. I could be at work eating and my lunch would be scrutinised, if it’s large its “Oh my gosh how can you eat all of that and still be so skinny?” If it’s small then it’s, “No wonder you’re so skinny” and if I’m cold it would be “You need to eat more!” Ladies really? Stop it! Let’s be real, if we flip the scenario with a larger person at lunch time eating a large meal and I said “No wonder you’re so fat” or with a small meal, “You hardly eat and you’re so fat” and if they are cold “How can you be so cold with all that weight on you?” Then believe I would be facing a disciplinary. In any situation it is so unacceptable to offer these opinions.

Telling people you are trying to put on weight is often soul crushing as it is mocked with responses like, “Just eat more burgers!” But when ‘Jane’ tells people she is finally trying to lose weight, out comes all the words of encouragement and support, no one is telling ‘Jane’ to put down the burgers!

I am not easily infuriated but the below meme irks me in ways…

Wow! I can only hope and pray that this was not created by a woman. When did it become ok to make other women feel bad just to make yourself feel good, or to use men to validate us? I’m sure that people realise that your bone structure is more or less pre-determined at birth. Yes some people over eat and yes some under eat but body maintenance is generally something you have to work on unless you were given a shape that you are happy with without doing any work to preserve it. If that is case then I am happy for you but just how you may have ‘woke up like this’, so did a lot of other people, only they are not happy with ‘this’

I guess what I’m really addressing here is the way that we interact with each other. Just because you may think you are saying something that the other person wants to hear, it doesn’t make it a fact and certainly does not make it ok. Skinny girls do not want to be the topic of interest at lunch time, they just want to eat. They do not care about when you think they might put on weight and offering some of your body weight is just gross, like it makes me want to vomit in my mouth. I bet you if said skinny girl asked for some of your weight the gloves would be off, you would be highly offended. It is no different believe me. My friendly advice is unless there is a serious question of health or concern…just keep it to yourself!

Happy eating EVERYONE!!!