What Kind Of Dog Should Trump Get?

Let’s postulate: Barron Trump, like any normal 10 year old, arrives home and slings his backpack onto a gilded kitchen table and slinks back in an ornate chair. His penny loafers dangle above the floor. America’s prince gazes out at the New York City skyline and sighs. The First Lady is concerned.

MT: Barron, my love, is everything alright? You have barely touched your Le Petit Ecoliers and milk…

Barron explains his discontent; the other male progeny at Academy all luxuriate in the valor of canis companionship; he feels covetous.

Melania advises he merely ask his father for a dog, and she returns to watching CNN’s The Lead With Jake Tapper (her daily appointment viewing). Barron contacts his father using the most sacred, direct line reserved only for family emergencies: via Twitter. This was the president’s response. (Sadly the following has been heavily inspired by real Tweets sent by the President of the United States re: various issues):

*The author of this article does not necessarily believe Donald Trump should have a dog in the White House in order to avoid the collective emotional stress of worrying about a puppy’s wellbeing, in addition to the current sociopolitical state of our nation. That said, if you’d like to rescue a deserving canine and make them the First Dog of your life, check out the ASPCA.

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