Wanna be attractive to people? Read this
Do you know that changing attires can persuade people to buy more? No one wants to buy something from someone they don't like, do by changing their looks salesmen actually increase their sales.
A man named Alon frieman was a salesman that sells raffle tickets to at sports events. However he didn't sell too well and he had an intuition, he thought about what would happen he changed his work attire to one similar to the sports fans he wanted to sell to. So he asked his behavioral scientist friend Vanessa Van Edwards for advice.
Vanessa advised him to not only dress in sport jerseys but to dress in the exact jerseys of the fans he was hoping to sell to. Luckily, Alon's intuition was right and his sales went up.
This is because we like people like us. We like people who can understand us, who thinks like we think, believes what we do and lives the way we do. This is why meet-ups are such a huge thing nowadays.
We are always eager to meet those like us. And you have to start using this because once you can show anyone that you are similar to them. You become irresistibly attractive and they like you.
Look into your life right now and you will see that you have more in common with your close friends compared to those you are not close with. This is just the law of similarity in action. We love those that are similar to us and dislike those that don't.
There is this mistake I used to make and still notice around me - emphasizing difference.
In conversations, when others do or say something about what we don't have an interest in, we openly open up about our disgust.
Them - I was out watching the money fight last night
You - huh! I really don't like boxing. I think it's too brutish. It irritates me
Them - yes and I went to three countries after my stay at Argentina
You - you really like traveling. Bah! I traveled once and the stress is not worth it.
You can get my point already. A lot of people do this on impulse due to habit. Please don't do that anymore.
Because when you emphasize your differences, you are only showing that you are different from them and that you can't understand them. And it makes you look unattractive. It is like you send them a thump down on Facebook.
Henceforth, I'll urge you to not to emphasize your difference, once you are in conversation and they say anything that is not your interest, let it go and don't give a comment.
Direct your attention instead to finding common links between you guys. And here are the three areas you want to zone in on;
Experiences - these are occurrences that happened to you in the past such as going through the same school or course, experiencing heartbreak, traveling to the same location, working in the same field of work, having a similar Ahah moment in the past etcetera.
People - you want to zone in on knowing the same people, being a fan of a similar celebrity or author.
Interests - these are the things you are interested in and your hobbies such as reading, Netflix, women, men, sex, gluten free diet, self improvement, passive income, politics etcetera.
Always be on alert for something similar to you in these three areas and once you do. Pounce like a lion and elaborate on it, tell your stories and Pronto! You are attractive.
But that's not all, the following tips below will help you in maximizing the use of the law of similarity in your daily life.
#1 Observe before you say anything
Before you go up to them and utter a word, you should observe if there is anything telling about their behavior and the situation you met them in.
Where did you meet them? At a business convention? Birthday party? Football stadium? On the road as you are jogging? At the gym?
What can you deduce about their accent? The way they dress? And who they talk to?
Always take time to observe something before you meet them. And you can do better if you have a coming interview with someone you've never met. Use Google to spy on them; learn about their history and connect.
It goes without saying already. You have got to listen and listening is not just keeping quiet.
You have to hear what they are saying.
Listen actively and look for the three threads - experience, people and interests. And listening is not fantastic only because it helps you find common ground; being a good listener also makes you likable.
People appreciated those who take the effort to listen to them. Attention is rare nowadays.
#3 Steer to common ground
Most times, the other person won't give you the exact common ground because it's not something they are conscious about. They may talk and thread the edges of something you have in common.
They may be talking about their business which involves a lot of traveling but you're not a business man and you travel a lot. They may talk about living close to somewhere you used to live. They may talk about knowing someone who is a friend of a friend of yours and on like that.
They hang by the edge of the common ground. You must wait any longer when you notice this. It is your responsibility to consciously steer them into it. Drive the conversation to what you have in common, make comments, ask for more details and connect yourself to what they say.
#4 Ask why?
People tell us what they did all the time, they do it because they want to feel good about themselves. However, these are opportunities you can use to appear attractive as well.
Just ask why they did what they did!
This is how you learn how people really tick, you learn their beliefs, mindset and principles and if you can connect with them at this level, your attractiveness breaks through the roof.
Ask why they love to travel, why they work for a company, whey they do what they do, why they love something and hate something else, why they believe something. If they shared an experience, ask the reason they thought it happened.
Asking why is very powerful if you learn to do it.
#5 Observe for interest
Ironically, finding common ground is not limited to what the other person says, it is about what you say also.
Conversations are never linear or scripted, the banter goes back and forth and it can go in any direction that no-one can imagine. However, at times when you are talking and you strike a common ground with the person, it shows up on their face.
You just have to notice it.
At that moment, they perk up, their faces light up, they lean in to hear more and they say Ahah or tell me more!
When you see these cues, you want to explore whatever it is you were saying at that time further.
A word of warning however!
Just as signs shows up when you hit a common ground, signs also show up when you hit a difference ground and you are boring them to hell.
They lean out and their eyes dart everywhere, they look bored, they rest their chin on the palm of one hand, they say 'yeah yeah' very fast and then go back to being bored.
When you see any of these signs, quickly change the topic.
Stop being boring.
Now you have just learned more than 5 ways to be irresistibly attractive to anyone. Isn't today a great fucking day that you just read this.
So kindly recommend and share. Don't be the only attractive person around, help out other unattractive guys and girls out there by sharing this to them.
And just recently I released a Kindle book 'How to overcome social awkwardness in 21 days'. I went deeper into what you've just learned and other topics such as meeting people and being memorable. You can get it right here.
Thanks for reading.