I had to write to you, totally human Christiana. In my experience, the truth is counter-intuitive — the people who are ultimately the most successful with money had an abundant money mindset from the beginning, when they had nothing. Call it faith, or a clear setting of intentions. It’s just a pattern I’ve seen in my work. They were, before they had, and were therefore in the right mental place to be able to receive the maximum help where needed and engage themselves.
Everyone struggles, so if you’re currently in that darker place, know that you’re not alone. Hope that makes sense. Good luck to you.