A Response to (my friend who sent me) Shonda Rhimes’ TED Talk on saying “yes”.

A friend sent this to me, and I wrote my reply to him while I was listening. I found it a little upsetting, and a little inspiring. Here’s my slightly edited email:


Finally got around to listening to this. I emailed it to myself and thankfully the filter is down at work, so I can watch it.

I read a memoir Yes Man by Danny Wallace (after the American film adaptation came out). It comes from more of a single 20s/30s perspective, but I was in a slump at the time, single and staying at home a lot, so I started saying “Yes”. It’s a good exercise. It doesn’t have to be a way of life, but it is a good way to rediscover your equilibrium between hiding at home (sometimes healthy) and finding new experiences and face-time with different people; like you said about… was it Milton and his half-formed opinions. ;)

I can’t empathise with the parenting part, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt the creative hum of writing. That bothers me, but I don’t know how to refind it, so I just try to do a little bit of shitty writing everyday, and hope that I’ll trip over it while describing a vampire in a city or a girl by the river…

The section on love spoke to me, too. I don’t have kids, and I’m not close to my family. I’m not in a relationship and There’s no one who needs to talk to me. There’s no one I can need to talk to. That’s a bit dizzying, and comes in stark contrast to the probing, shallow interactions that come naturally on first dates and dating app chats.

“Giving myself attention for 15 minutes” is an interesting thought.

It’s been about two months since you sent me this (sorry); has it started to affect your decision-making? Have you found the hum? It seemed to be the zone you were in when you were [working on that last project].

Speak soon,


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