Swiping Away My Tears
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it on this blog before, but I’m newly-single. Anyway, I’ve been doing the Tinder, 3nder, and OKCupid thing again. I’ve been doing so with some success, and my Whatsapp is buzzing like it hasn’t for a while with flirting, selfies and date plans. Yeah, I know; #HumbleBrag.
Anyway, I was chatting with two friends last night in our own Whatsapp group, and we were talking about how dating has changed a lot since the “good old days”. The older member of the group highlighted the meat market nature of the whole thing, the lack of “will they, won’t they” tension, and the overall transactional, unromantic nature of the whole thing.
Anyway, that got me thinking about it, and the sexy texting just turned to ashes in my mind. What was sexy and adventurous just suddenly became this perverted, meaningless, soul-sucking thing, rather than the high-concept romantic experience that dating ought to be.
Then I remembered; I had that. I was in a long, serious relationship with all the romance and bickering and nonsense that goes with it. As you know, I miss it terribly, but that’s not my point. That relationship started online with a little flirting and reacting to cute pictures and then led where it led.
There’s also nothing wrong with having something dumb and meaningless. Dan Savage has many times said (in articles I cannot find) that the success of a relationship is not necessarily about length or even depth, but about the positive effects and memories it leaves on your life.
On Dan Savage, he also talks about the myth of “The One”, which is something I’ve subscribed to for a while, but it’s a worthy thing to remember when you’re feeling Very Single too. Ultimately, someone you don’t enjoy spending time with is someone who you shouldn’t spend time with. Life’s too short and the world is too big.
A good friend once told me; the people you choose should add, not subtract. It’s so true.
There’s another issue that’s been wearing on me since I’ve been half-heartedly prodding the dating sites, too; my ex. Some flirting distractions do not mean that I’m over her, nor that I’m not utterly shattered by the fact that we’re not together any more. She is always the woman. In my eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. Or, to put it another way…
No point to this, really. Just getting it out of my system. Good luck, everyone!
