The First Swipe
Well, it’s been a long week since my last post regarding my mixed feelings on dating online. I’ve had one amazing date and one less so. The former was from OKC, the latter from Tinder. I’m drawing no conclusions there.
The first girl was (and is) pretty awesome. We’ve been chatting since… January 1st as it turns out! Well that’s interesting.
Sorry for that aside. Anyway, we’ve been chatting for a while, and it’s been nice. We align on a lot of things — but meeting in real life is the real question. It’s all about that magical question of chemistry.
Anyway, once she arrived (after two hours late on the metro — she took a terrible route) I was immediately struck. She was even more lovely than her pictures suggested, with an ironic sense of humour they didn’t. She likes zombies and Britain and video games. Did I mention how hot she is? Amazingly enough, she seemed into me too, and we’ve got a (weekend) second date coming up.
Date number two was less successful, as I said. We’ve been flirting and playing a little on Whatsapp, but when we met, I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t as attracted to her as I had been to her photos, and we clashed on conversational topics about which I know I can be quite belligerent, such as homeopathy and religion. See the Tim Minchin poem belle for my feelings on such things. She told me she felt good about the meeting, but I cried off — not disingenuously — with the flu.
So — mixed results then. OKCGirl (for whom I should probably think of a more flattering codename) is really cool, and has captured my attention near-totally. I keep being advised to slow down and take it day by day, while continuing to hook up with other girls. These are the same friends who convinced me to think about a “rebound” to begin with…
I can’t really argue with the logic of their words, especially considering that we began talking just two days after I became single. Nevertheless, it’s difficult not to get wrapped up in the possibilities, even given the lack of mourning time.
In my previous post I also talked about the sense of betrayal or that I’m giving up on the previous relationship. Those things haven’t changed, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that putting myself into this new possibility has helped in maintaining the space between my ex and I. I’m not sure that I’ve given up hope of a reconciliation; nor am I sure if I’m still hoping for it. I know I’d hate for her to read this. I don’t want her to be hurting. I’m just trying to survive what happened. I really was close to marrying her. I’ve even stopped saying her name because of the nasty little pang it causes.
So… yeah. What a mess right? I’ll keep you up to date, assuming anyone is reading this, as it helps quieten my cogitations.
Have a great week.