A new challenge, a new mountain to climb
My eyes slowly opened from the anesthetic that had worn off. My hand instinctively reached downward for the catheter only to find that there wasn’t one. I suddenly became more alert. What was going on? In the 30 operations preceding this, I had never come out of an operation without a catheter.
My wife, who was with me, informed me that I needed to go for a CT scan. The form was lying on my bed. I asked her for it and managed to make out the words “new tumour”. My heart sank. This could not be good.
With the scan complete, I was wheeled back to my ward where we sat desperately waiting for news. My doctor eventually came in and sat down. He never sits down…
He crouched over with his fingers pressed together and broke the news that the cancer had spread up into the right ureter. The cancer was now en route to my kidney. My doctor said that this was a game-changer and that his hands were now tied. He could not resect the tumours as the ureter was only about 1mm thick and would likely perforate — this would allow cancer cells into the rest of my body. He, similarly, could not remove that section of the ureter as it would also expose the rest of my body to cancer cells.
His only recommendation was that my bladder needed to be removed. This was not news I was ready to hear…
I have been actively fighting cancer for just under 10 years now and endured 31 operations. Through this, almost a decade of cancer, I have learnt to adapt and establish new norms. The news of having to undergo something completely new and foreign to me threw me for a loop.
In about a month I will have a new doctor, be in a new hospital, and undergoing — from what I understand — a very horrible and life-changing procedure.
The news is still quite raw, and I have not fully processed it all. But I am reminded of my previous post and how far I have come. I have survived almost 10 years of cancer. That is not something many cancer patients get to say. The news that my bladder needs to be removed has also not been a death sentence, it is simply a change in the game plan. A new challenge, a new mountain to climb.
I plan on tackling this new challenge head-on. I remain steadfast in my faith and I am lifted by my family and friends. This will not be easy. But I will conquer it.
