Interviewing for dummies: May the odds ever be in your favor.

Becoming an adult is one of the biggest swindles I’ve ever involuntarily signed up for. The joys of adulthood come with the great responsibility of paying bills. Unless you’ve been born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or have a looming trust fund, or lucked up on an older man to take care of you, you’re going to have to get a job.

With any job, comes the joyous practice of interviewing. You’re whisked away into some secluded room with one or a tribunal of people asking you the same questions that I’m pretty sure are written in the first employment contract of yesteryear.

What if we could say exactly how we felt during interview questions? Here me out, it could be interesting.


Manager: Candidate, why do you want this job? Candidate: Because You had an opening and I have rent.

Or

Manager: Candidate, why should we hire you?

Candidate: well because I’m the shit and have student loans to pay.


These responses, as painfully accurate as they may be, are frowned upon during interviews. Answers, such as these, may cost you the coveted job you’ve been longing for.

You’d think employers would revel in honest answers, because it would show them exactly what kind of employee they were getting. Instead of receiving some ribbon in the sky type of response, and waiting 90 days to see what someone truly is like. They could get this from jump if they were open to honesty.

After all we were taught honesty is the best policy.

Until such time comes that honesty is warranted, and until your rich suitor comes to sweep you off your feet, learn to sell yourself and play on your strengths.