“The reason it takes so long is getting to the point where you trust each other…”

When Sol Invictus was announced, mainstream reaction to the first Faith No More album in nearly 18 years was, essentially, “Remember the 80s? The ‘Epic’ guys are back!”

It was at once entirely expected, exceedingly dumb and largely reasonable. “Epic” drove The Real Thing to platinum sales in 1989. Follow-up Angel Dust scored gold and a heap of critical praise, but lead single “Midlife Crisis” didn’t have the crossover success of “Epic.” The album itself was an artistic leap forward, a brilliant 60 minutes of odd angles, trap doors and trick shots that moved deliberately away from commercial appeal. The…

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you lost a bunch of money on the Seahawks on Sunday. Purely hypothetical, of course. There’s no way you were—again, hypothetically—counting your (hypothetical) money in the waning seconds of the Super Bowl, an unstoppable Marshawn Lynch with 102 yards in his pocket, on the one with three downs to go, and how in the hell could Pete Carroll call a pass, that’s got to be the numb-nutsin’est play in the history of the… well. Anyway.

What would hypothetical, down-and-somehow-out you do in this scenario? Why, you do what any red-blooded American degenerate…

Jason Scavone

Former editor of DailyFiasco.com, contributor to Vegas Seven. Writer of things, occasionally of stuff. Devoted servant of Satoshi, Eater of Cookie Puss' soul.

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