I’m not a good writer

an actual image of me pretending to write

I’m not a good writer because I don’t write enough.

I’m not a good writer because I spend too much time thinking of ideas that hang out in Trello and never escape the “To Do” tab.

I’m not a good writer because I have probably 30 half-written (OK, one sentence isn’t really half) pieces that I have no plans to finish.

I’m not a good writer because I get so satisfied with an accepted pitch from a publication ready to give me money that I sometimes don’t even write the piece.

I’m not a good writer because I get scared shitless when I think about starting a piece that involves an interview.

I’m not a good writer because I pat myself on the back for a piece I published over a year ago.

I want to be a good writer more than anything else professionally. I LOVE writing, but getting started is the hardest part for me. I always get scared that it’s something that has already been written before or that my “beat” will be inconsistent since I juggle hobbies more than anyone I know. Fuck that. I decided today (I actually decided that I’d write this piece two weeks ago, oops) that I’m going to write more and I’m going to make it known publicly so there’s more pressure on me to actually do it. I think of some of my heroes and there’s one thing that’s consistent with all of them — they put the work in. Rembert Browne, Katie Nolan and Ira Glass (if I listed everyone this article would take a day to read) all spent countless hours mastering their craft, even when no one was looking at their content. Fuck perfection, fuck too much structure and fuck everything else at this point — I’ve spent too much time trying to “learn” and forgot to actually just do.

What am I going to write about? I don’t know yet but I want to try to at least write one piece a week (BUT I SHOULD DO MORE — if you’re reading this push me please). I could write a review of Tickled, the documentary I saw yesterday that was so engaging I literally ran to the bathroom and back in under 30 seconds. I could write about the fact that I’ve lived with my ex girlfriend for seven months. I could write about the fact that the biggest thing I’m moving into my new apartment is my board game collection. I could write about why #BlackLivesMatter and that these posts about #AllLivesMatter or #BlueLivesMatter are missing the fucking point. I could write about why I’m not mad at Kevin Durant and that I think the move is good for my boy Russy Russ. I’m going to write more until I become a good writer.

an actual image of me after writing a piece