Expectations of People

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I have learned my lesson of keeping my expectations of others low. Time and time again, I have come across moments in my life were some people let me down when I didn’t really expect them to. By means, did they it on purpose (Well, I hope not.)

Setting low expectations, allows me to rarely be dissappointed and more often impressed when others do exceed them. That’s why there is a saying that goes around, “Exceed expectations.”

It’s not a personal thing. It’s not that I lack faith in humanity (Which I did for awhile). It’s that we as human beings are quite often irrational and illogical in setting expectations of others. In general, we often want to think that another person knows our expectations of them and their actions.

Sure, expectations goes without saying amongst friends and family by picking social cues and learning from our past mistakes with them during the durations of the relationships, so both sides pretty much know what to expect. We learn as we go.

I found that it is much better to overtly, realistically, and explicitly set your expectations of others with them and vice versa. This clears up confusion and each party knows what they could expect and cuts down the period of trial and error. However, overtly and explicitly set expectations when it makes sense. Somethings just go without saying, like those expectations between friends and family. For example, mutual respect and trust of others.

Of coure, there are other reasons why expectations fall a bit short sometime; even when they are overtly and explicitly set. Life happens to them, or you, and certain situations come up. according to Hooked by Nir Eyal, in order for someone to take an action, they need the proper motivation, the ability to take the action, and a proper trigger to alerted to take the action.