How not to build a Twitter following of Zombie aficionados and other Social Media lessons.. a quick thank you to Digital Mums

I recently made it through a pretty intense and transformative social media learning experience with the amazing Digital Mums, and rather than being all serious about the course’s multiple redemptive and educational benefits, I’m feeling joyful, if not a little hysterical about the whole process. So in true curated content style — here are my top 8 frivolous pieces of social media learning:

  1. Don’t compare your foggy dog walk to a #ZombieApocalypse on Twitter or you will build an instant following dedicated to worshipping the undead. And they are pretty hard to shake off let me tell you.
  2. Social Media is brilliant for introverts and extroverts alike. You can air-kiss, high-five, small-talk and network virtually with the best of them without having to make eye contact or loiter awkwardly by the goat’s cheese canapés ever again.
  3. American self-styled content marketing gurus called Phil from Michigan or Oregon will make up 15% of your Twitter following, whichever subject you Tweet about.
  4. Attempting to get any real engagement on Linkedin is like trying to clamber gracefully onto a well-greased Lilo on a particularly blustery day at Blackpool beach.
  5. Twitter can bring out the tabloid headline writer in the most ardent broadsheet fan. Have you had your ‘How do you solve a problem like Korea?’ moment yet? If not — you will. God save the pun.
  6. Continuing the Sound of Music theme, So Long apostrophe, Fairwell semi-colon, Auf Wiedersehen full-stop. Wave adieu to traditional grammar and punctuation if you want to squeeze the most out of your precious 140 characters.
  7. Your everyday thoughts will start to be framed in hashtags. #theshame #badparent and #forgodssakehurryupitsstrictly having proved popular within the confines of my own tiny mind over the last few months. On the hashtag plus side, my 5 year old will be pleased to know that finger spaces have well and truly had their day.

and finally:

  1. It’s absolutely possible to be brainwashed by your own hashtag. Of course I fully supported the sentiment of my Digital Mums’ #DontWasteTalent campaign, but I have never previously been much of an activist. I attended the student loans demos in 1990 as a way of getting a coach trip to London for £1 so I could spend my student (grant) in Top Shop and didn’t actually attend the rally. However — having posted #DontWasteTalent thousands of times, and having researched and read widely and engaged in myriad social media conversations on the topic, I have turned into a fully-fledged, it’d-be-a-real-mistake-to-sit-next-to-me-in-the-pub advocate of mums’ employment issues. I have been walking around in a permanent state of outrage on behalf of all the hugely talented mums who need skilled, flexible, home-based work.
     
    Luckily, thanks to Digital Mums — that issue is being addressed in a brilliantly creative way. I’d just like to thank the team for recognising the potential of mums and for giving me a career and confidence lifeline that is intellectually challenging, creative, fun — and most importantly, flexible! It’s been a blast and I’ve discovered that you’re never too old to learn..