This is a picture of one of my past crushes

I am going to tell you about a friend of mine and if what I tell you makes you love her then know that I love her too.

Making new friends is a weird thing, sometimes it is intentional, you see someone and you are captivated by them and you think to yourself “This person is awesome, I absolutely must be friends with him/her” and then you go on to do whatever it takes to make this awesome person meet your awesome person and y’all live awesomely ever after. Other times it is different, other times you are walking on the road to your mother’s house and you look to your left and find this stranger there and you think to yourself “Wait, when did we become friends?” This might be one of those stories, one of those stories when I can’t say when I became friends with her. I can’t say “well I was walking on the streets and she walked past singing the lyrics to my favorite James’ Bay song and at that moment I knew I had to talk to her”. This is a story where I don’t know when I started texting her everyday or telling her when I felt odd or what problems were disturbing me. This is one of those stories where I didn’t even realize I had started letting out my secrets to her till it was too late.

In this story, somewhere down the road my mum is going through my phone when she comes across a silly picture of a girl she did not recognize

“Oh who is this? is this your new girlfriend?”
“new girlfriend? Who was my old… Nevermind” *checks phone*
“Oh this is Ben… i told you about her that time we were talking about flying chickens”

The conversation went something like that. Here is what you should know, if I have mentioned you to my mother, we have crossed a particular threshold and we are not going back. When did we cross this threshold?

It could have been at the very start of the story when I first met you.

I did not know it then, I did not foresee it. Because the lines of destiny are not straight, this wasn’t the start of our friendship. In fact our friendship didn’t start when we met a second time or the third time or even the fourth. It started much later. It started when I least expected.

It was like destiny waited till I was off guard, I can picture him

“Look at him, he doesn’t know what is coming to him. hahahaha he will perish in my hands. He will love and he doesn’t know it hahahaha”

And thus it began and trust it to begin ever so slowly

“Today he shall love her eyes, Tomorrow her smile”

Of course there is nothing to worry when you love things on the surface. A piece of advice, don’’t ever love more than what you can see because when you do, when you do, you are screwed.

“Today you shall find her funny”

I should know because I am screwed. Humor is the worst. Like why the hell will someone just go and be funny

“Today you shall go against your one and only rule, today you shall ask her for her number”

Destiny plays dirty. Tricks and deceives.

Today you shall love and tomorrow shall love a little more”

This is the worst, when you don’t realize what is happening so you cannot stop it.

Today a little more and then a little more and then a little more”

Loving is knowing someone enough to miss them when they are not there

“Look at him, he doesn’t know it yet, Today I know what I shall do, i shall finish her mobile data, that will stop her from texting. hahahaha. And I shall whisk her away to her father’s house, that will stop him from seeing her hahahah i am a genius”

So it was that he did not text nor see and he missed her but he did not know and this is the danger, not knowing. And she came back and texting was restored and seeing was restored and they had conversations and he did not know that he knew her enough to miss her when she was not there so he did not know he was loving.

You know at the beginning of a friendship when its all cupcakes and you see nothing wrong with a person. This is a period of happiness and bliss but you know in your heart that it shall not last forever. Someday, you will find out the person’s downside, it could be something minor like finding out the person is a maniac serial killer or that the person is a follower of hitler. It could be more serious like finding out the person puts milk before their cereal or the person doesn’t like chicken. But sometimes, some dreaded times, you don’t find the person’s downside, you discover yours. Jealousy is a terrible thing and you should burn what ever causes jealousy. Unfortunately it is illegal to burn humans. I don’t want to be but sometimes i am jealous of her friends

“He still doesn’t know, so sad that he still doesn’t know”

And so it happened that April 1st came and he played with her emotions and it worked and she may or not have been angry at him and she did not text. So he was alone with his thoughts and on that day he was sad because he had done wrong and he had been punished but it was on that day that he knew.

Maybe it was on this day the threshold was crossed then again maybe not…

Maybe it was when i found out we shared a taste in music

Maybe it was… maybe it was actually our differences that led me here

Maybe i don’t need you to like black soup or chicken

And maybe you are not suppose to know how to make cereal

And maybe slapping babies is in your blood

Wait. Why am i writing this…

“He doesn’t know yet hahahaha now is the best time to bring out the big guns”

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