Writing takes out of me
So over the last week, I have had the opportunity of being present with people as they read stuff that I wrote and you know what that means…
I love hearing from people after they read my work, I live for it. I want to hear what you have to say about the story itself and how it makes you feel and how you wanted it to be and why you hated the ending and why you love the lead character. I am however unsure of how I feel about people wanting to know what my head looked like on the inside. I mean if you know that, you could easily clone me and kill me off and use my clones to do whatever dastardly thing you wanted to.
I wonder how book authors feel about people asking them what they were thinking when they wrote a particular book, I doubt it is there favorite question to answer, I know it’s not mine. I like more personal comments like how sad it made you feel and I like to see people’s facial reactions when they read and i try to guess what caused the changes in expression.
One of my avid readers has been on my neck about how i am way more of a tragedy writer. I don’t think I am a tragedy writer, i think i like strong stories and I guess sometimes they get tragic. I write because I want the ending of my story to cause strong emotional effects on the reader and I guess sometimes i don’t exactly have happy endings.
I sat down recently to think about the answer to the dreaded question of what I am thinking when writing, and when i try to remember I realize that i am not necessarily thinking. My writing process usually involves me bumping my head to music and just tapping away at my keyboard (i am doing it right now) so I can’t exactly say I am thinking but i know I am feeling. This might sound weird but I think I might have cried while writing a story before (while writing not after reading it), if a story is strong enough to produce effects on me I think that’s when i am satisfied with it.
To a great extent i think that’s why i am so excited about hearing people’s feedback on stories especially when it is a personal comment. When i put out a story and don’t get any comment or the only comments i get concerning it are “nice writeup” or “Good stuff” i am left a bit wanting. I feel empty if not even one person can come to me and ask questions like what happened next or why a particular character did something, although i will always wave these questions off with answers like “I don’t know, i am not the character” i really do need this type of questions to feel satisfied with myself. The day that I stop writing for questions and start writing for positive remarks, that is the day i sellout.