Memorial Day 2018

From the time I wake up on Memorial Day, the normal sense of the loss is amplified. I spend a portion of the day thinking about my friends and their families as I scroll through the Memorial Day posts from the divided social media communities. On the veteran side, I see the purer posts about the loved ones no longer with us (as this day is meant to remember them). Then, I see posts meant to educate the civilian community, stating “It’s not about a cookout,” and ranging from honest and polite to borderline hostile. This unnecessary hostility is not unique to Memorial Day, as social media has forced almost everyone to defend a viewpoint at one time or another. These necessary defenses begin to then drive algorithms that create echo chambers in fortified positions, with archers ready to fire at the first hint of ideological opposition… But that is not the conversation for today.

Today is about remembrance and honoring the young men and women who have died for us. This can seem abstract and overwhelming to some, as you consider there have been over 1 million wartime military deaths in the history of our county. To veterans and their families however, this is not abstract. The faces and memories stay with us, and this carries with it a sadness. This sadness sits in direct conflict with the joy we feel when being surrounded by our loved ones on this day. I’m comforted in the knowledge that the men and women I have had the privilege of knowing, would want nothing more from us than to remember them and cherish our families.

So, as we sit around today and enjoy our time with our loved ones, please take a moment to think about our fallen brothers and sisters. Please do not say “Happy Memorial Day.” It is not happy, and the statement can feel uncomfortably impersonal given the nature of the day. If Memorial Day feels abstract to you, please reach out to a veteran and ask them to share with you the life that someone has sacrificed for us. I say “us” because that is what they gave their lives for. However, we dress it up, our friends and loved ones gave their lives for a collection of diverse individuals. Most immediately, for those around them. Secondarily, for the families of those who would be affected, and by extension….you. So, on this Memorial Day, let us not remember how they died, but let us remember how they lived.