It’s All in the Timing

Jonathan Forney
Jul 20, 2017 · 3 min read

As someone who’s seen my share of relationships end, I’ve learned a lot of what not to do as opposed to the alternative. The biggest lesson I’ve learned seems to be go at your own pace and hopefully everything else will sort itself out.

Every person is different so there is no universal relationship advice I can offer, but I can share what I’ve noticed in my own personal experiences.

I’ve been given ultimatums to date girls or risk losing them after we’d been talking for a while. I’ve accepted and reject such offers. In these instances, I often wonder how much I really wanted to be with them if I needed a consequence to take the next step forward. Things should progress mutually and without prompting, the way I see it.

As much as it hurts sometimes, I think I made the right decision for myself the majority of the time. Even when things don’t go as planned, at least I got some positive memories out of the dynamics. Not to take anything away from people who know what they want in a partner and are willing to put themselves out there to get what they want.

I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m going to commit myself to someone, I want to be sure I’m doing it for me, not to fulfill some obligation that’s been placed on me by circumstances.

I suppose that’s the primary lesson I can take away from my relationships: take as much or as little time as you need, as long as you’re getting involved with someone on your own accord. I have several friends my age or younger who are engaged or married, happily, I hope. If that works for them, kudos. Like I said, everyone is different and every dynamic between individuals is unique.

In between all of relationships, flings or whatever else I could call my dynamics with girls, I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve thought about what I think is important, what I offer to a potential partner, what I want from a significant other and additional factors.

Personally, I don’t think I’m at a point in my life where I can see myself in a committed long-term relationship. I feel like I have a lot of issues I need to address before I could give someone my best and what they deserve. But, as I said, it all depends on the person. Maybe there’s some person out there right now that could be what I need now.

It may sound dreary, but life goes on, whether you get the girl/guy or stay single tomorrow. Which ties into another important thing I’ve learned in my experiences: your worth shouldn’t be tied to another person. Someone isn’t less because someone doesn’t like them back or they find someone else.

It’s important to learn how to be happy on your own. A significant other should compliment your own happiness with theirs, not be the sole source of it. I’m beginning to understand that now.

I’ve been working on these aspects of myself lately. One day I’ll have things figured out, but until then it’s okay to see what’s out there. When the time is right, I think I’ll know.

As it stands, I’m only 21 years old. I have a lot of life left to live and lot of experiences left to have. I’m still trying to feel things out. I don’t think others should feel pressure to find someone if they have hang-ups.

The world doesn’t revolve around relationships, as much as it feels like it sometimes. There are plenty of other ways to be happy and fulfilled. Take up a hobby, explore your passions or, more simply put, do what makes you happy.

As far as relationships go, when the timing feels right, don’t hesitate, go for it. No rush.

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Jonathan Forney

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I have a lot of ideas about a lot of things and this is where I'm going to put some of them.

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