I’m not confident
I don’t even try to be. And that is okay.
They say shouldn’t start a sentence with and, but I do it because it allows me to add more seperation and an easy transition.
You can fool anyone with fake confidence. They eat it up. Its important to have it for happiness. Which is what I desire. And stability. Now that is a poor choice but its shows the difference between examples.
Today was a happy day, spent doing things I wanted to do. To a tee. Hung out listened to music, relaxed, and then went for sushi. It is not common for me to do that.
Maybe who I went with made it so great. Someone that can lead the conversation.
Someone smarter than me. Independent, with a caring outlook.
This girl, is simply amazing. She cares, is kind, is smart and confident. She will stand up for what she believes in, and she works harder than I do.
It is obvious. But I value her companionship more than anything.
Some things loop in my head, and the way she cared is unbelievable. Glad to have her in my life.
She might be worried I like her. It’s not that bad though. Nothing like before.
I wonder why that got so bad. Time. Intimacy maybe. Drugs. Probably all the above.
I doubt this will ever be like that. But it was all me before, it could happen again.
I need more self control. A lot more. I want to be stronger, I need more rest.
3am. It is my birthday. One more year of living. Yesterday was a day that I actually liked being here.
I want to know more about her, and I want to find someone.
At the same time I don’t. I already dont make enough time for myself.