Becoming a Father

Working through struggles

It’s 4 a.m. and I have been writing this blog post since before Father’s Day. I haven’t stayed up this late since college. This was how I used to do all of my homework back then. Staying up late and writing. No distractions. Just you working through the words, the right words. And for this post in particular, I’ve struggled to find those words.

I’m on about my 4th different draft, which is far too many drafts for a blog. Part of this is my own fault. I’m a perfectionist. I tinker and edit until I get it right. I re-read over each paragraph and each sentence. How is the grammar, punctuation, syntax? Redo it, or move on and come back to it. Leave yourself a note so you don’t forget. The end results may not be perfect (they never are), but I own my work.

This post is supposed to outline what type of dad I’ll become. And it’s a struggle to complete. So what happened? Two things. The first being writer’s block. Writing is hard. I liken it to running a marathon. Both are impossible to do without training. You can’t run 26.2 if you always stop at 1. If you only write a few times a month it is difficult to expect to put together more than a few sentences.

The second struggle is the topic. I’ve never been a dad to anyone besides my fur babies. So how should I know what to write, especially when the information is almost certainly going to be wrong?

It’s 4:30 and I’m running on fumes. So let’s get to what I wanted to say. There is no box that you can put a person in. There is no mold for parenting. No book or guru that will prepare you for all of the ups and downs you are bound to go through. Be the parent that your child needs you to be. Be their friend when they need one. Be a hard ass when they need that, too. You’re probably going to get a lot of things wrong, but that’s okay. Keep working at it, and you’ll get better.

So I’ll leave with the only redeeming passage I salvaged from the previous drafts. I’m off to bed.

I want to be the parent that inspires. I want to spark creativity and energy. I want to get rid of “impossible” from my vocabulary. I want to be the parent that isn’t worried about pushing my kid to work hard; to strive for greatness. I want to teach him that failure is okay but not quitting. I want to teach him to be empathetic. To stand up for others. I want to teach him right from wrong. To honor his obligations. To always tell the truth, even when it is difficult. I want to show him unconditional love.