I Hated all my Best Friends

Some of my best friendships started off as rivalries.

They either rubbed me the wrong way, came off as chauvinistic, displayed overt male-posturing, were offensively good looking, or just downright intimidated me.

First impressions are a funny thing. People often try to seem impressive in order to earn respect, gain popularity, increase self-esteem, or simply to find common ground. I hate these kinds of interactions because I look for honesty and authenticity in first-impressions and I start to read through the lines the stronger someone comes off. My past experiences taught me to be skeptical toward anyone trying to convince you into liking them.

The irony is that I’ve based many friendships off of judgement. I was the one that was insecure. I was the one with the ego. I was the one acting like they had to impress me. I thought negatively about the greatest people I know because I thought they had something to hide, or were trying to manipulate me, or were addicted to stroking their own egos.

Turns out, I’m the one with the ego. I’m the one with unchecked insecurities.

I’ve learned that some of the greatest people I’ll ever know come off incredibly strong or even unbearable. But if I can exercise grace and patience I might just find the passionate and loyal individual beneath the facade and develop a life-long friendship thicker than oil.