Not All Men Talk Like That

As a girl on the fringe of guy talk in platonic circles, I’ve heard a lot. Moreover, I’m a fantastic eavesdropper. No one, I mean no one, can master the art of pretending to be absorbed in something else whilst listening to guys talk about women when they think women aren’t listening. (I used to live next door to guys in a popular local band who would have conversations outside my kitchen window about “all the pussy they were blessed with”).

We do, absolutely know that there are different types of men out there. We know that the biological urge for a straight man to objectify a woman he finds attractive does not (necessarily) make him a bad person. But there’s thinking and saying things out loud, degrees of what you say and how you say it, that give us clues to your psychology.

Narcissistic, shallow men tend to be more vocal and crass when judging a woman. They tend to already have partners whom are almost always not their intellectual equal. These men often tend to be good-looking, or were at one point in their lives.

Kind, thoughtful men can also make remarks about women, but tend to be less crass. They’re likely to laugh or smirk along with the lewder alphas in the room, since they have more empathy and don’t enjoy awkward silences.

Some men never express their desires to other men. The most you may get out of them is an eyebrow raise of approval when a pretty girl walks by. This is probably the most secure of the bunch. They saw what they liked, they thought what they thought, they didn’t feel the need to vocally self-promote, ogle, denigrate, etc. The girl walking by wasn’t an opportunity to channel the inner caveman.

We know the caveman’s there. And we’re not totally against him. If a guy wants to throw me over his shoulder (with my consent) and bring me back to his cave, I’ll probably be OK with that as long as I can be Betty and not Wilma.

Obviously this is purely anecdotal stuff. But one thing I’ve found to be true — The more specific, louder, cruder a guy is in this so-called “guy talk”, the more insecure he is.

And if you don’t believe that, take a good look around your office and see who says what.