My 9 Ways to Feel Joy Again

In the U.S., there is a dominant culture focused on the importance of feeling happy and seeking happiness, but we sometimes overlook clear steps on how to actually get to that blissful feeling. We need to fill this gap and have deeper discussions on how to feel happy, and on the fact that there will be times in life when this happiness is harder to achieve: Happiness is not constant or always automatic. Bad things happen: Someone will say something mean to you. You will not achieve a goal. You will have to say good-bye to loved ones. This is a part of the human experience.

What do we do when we have these tough moments? We shouldn’t feel bad or shame ourselves for having sad moments, but we should know that there are actions to restore joy. Reflecting on what brings you joy will help you in these tough times. Building awareness allows us to take more action.

Recently I outlined a list of coping methods for myself that I would like to share with you. These concrete tactics allow me to get back in the mindset to experience joy again after feeling bummed. Being able to look at this list of methods ensures that my sadness is not compounded by also feeling lost and not knowing what to do.

1. Yoga: this practice allows me to center my mind and get my body moving. It gets endorphins flowing and my body physiologically remembers the joy within me. One of the most beautiful things for me about yoga is that it is a no-judgement zone where I can constantly better myself and grow. In other environments where I am expected to grow and change, such as within school, this process comes with a lot of judgements and evaluations, bringing in thoughts of my worth. In contrast, at yoga I am able to acknowledge my worth simply as a human being and as a loving soul. I’m never worried about being judged by others; this recognition allows me to reconnect with the joys of being human.
2. Meditation: when my body feels to tired to get active and sweat, I find a place where I can lay down and meditate. When I am feeling down, one of the main reasons I cannot shift my mood is because my thoughts are negative and racing. Meditations allows me to quiet my mind. Instead of being trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts, during meditation I get to sink into a peaceful stream. I usually use the app “Insight:timer” which provides a number of different free guided meditations.
3. Coffee or tea with a friend: the power of connecting with another human is limitless. When I am feeling down, I like to share my story and express this life experience with a friend. I think “we humans” are in this together and that if I am experiencing a problem or major life event then a friend may also have experienced this. We may not have the answers to all of the problems but sharing a vulnerable conversation allows us to know we are not alone in the fight.
4. Take a bubble bath or warm shower: if I am having a tough time, I give myself some “me” time. Taking a bubble bath or warm shower is complete alone time where I allow my body to feel calm. The feeling of hot, warm water allows my body to sink into a relaxation that opens my mind up to joy again.
5. Go outside and embrace nature: sometimes when I am upset or down, I feel so trapped in the system that is making me feel that way. Going outside, seeing the trees, feeling the sunshine, embracing the rain, all of these activities make me feel grounded. I feel a release and a beautiful disconnect from my mind and emotions which frees me from the weight of the negative experience.
6. Write in my journal: when I feel a lot of negative emotions, I write everything I am feeling down in my journal. It is important to acknowledge your emotions in order to overcome them. I acknowledge that my feelings are valid through writing, but this also allows them to pass. When I have a similar experience a few months later, I can also re-visit the journal passage I wrote previously and I can more easily learn from my past experience.
7. Outline what I am thankful for: Feelings of gratitude can go a long way. I think appreciation is the one of the best antidotes to sadness. Once I realize all of the greatness that already exists in my life then I feel less heavy about anything else negative going on. There is too much joy already around me to stay down for too long.
8. Call my mom, boyfriend, sister, best friend: there are certain people in my life that know me at different depths than others. It is comforting to be able to talk with someone who truly understands me and where I am coming from. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that these people exist, hear their voice, and with simply that, I can feel joyful again.
9. Take a nap/go to sleep: Sometimes our brains really need a break. I might feel so sad, so upset, so anxious that it feels like it requires an incredible amount of effort to shift my negative mindset. If I know I need more energy to change my mindset, I let that feeling sink in and let myself rest. There have been so many times where I have felt so overwhelmed at night, but then I wake up the next morning and feel excited to take on the same challenge that was stressing me out before.

Life can be hard. But it can be less difficult if we know how to make ourselves feel joy. Remember the joy is always within us, but we just need to remember how to open ourselves up to it. These are the tools that I use for myself, but my tactics may not be the same as yours; you might like going for a run, dancing to music, or taking a drive. Reflect and figure out whatever it is for you! Write your list down and look at them when you need to most.

Much love.