6 months ago I got married!
I made it clear to my wedding photographer that I only wanted candid pictures, NOTHING STAGED. I wanted to capture the pure energy, fun, and love from our big day at it’s most real moments. When I told her this, she looked at me with a confused look and then said,
“Okay, but don’t you want that perfectly posed picture of you and Connor that will go on your wall for the rest of your life?
I thought to myself, “Hmmm a perfectly posed picture to show off, to our children and all our house guests, how perfect our wedding day was and how perfect the moment was…”
We are told this as children: First comes the perfect wedding, then the perfect house, car, kids and all of THIS is what will make you happy and successful. Growing up, I was guilty of believing all of these “fairy tale” notions. I thought money equaled success, I needed other people’s approval to bring me happiness, and I believed eventually someone would come in and “save me”.
The truth is NO ONE else could save me, because I needed to “save” myself.
True happiness happened when I stopped chasing the fairy tale and got my own life right, and when I did the right person walked into it. I realized that in order to make my family happy I had to first make myself happy. I couldn’t give anyone anything I didn’t have myself. Love, respect, confidence, energy; it all starts with ME. And it all starts with you. It starts by respecting who you are and what you have in this life today. Change comes from self-love and not self-loathing.
It’s time to change the definition of a fairy tale. I want to send a new message to the younger generation. It’s not about the big day, the white dress, or the “perfect” life. It’s about YOUR OWN SELF WORTH. Energy is wasted when we sit around talking about what other people have. Money, appearance, careers.
What makes you happy and successful is not a spouse, house, car or kids. It’s about who you are as a person and how you treat others that will make your life amazing.
A perfect wedding picture does NOT guarantee the perfect marriage…
When I was asked about that “perfectly posed picture” to put up on our wall, I realized its not about that perfect moment of the wedding. It’s about every moment that comes after it. It’s about who I am every day as a person, as a wife, and as a companion. We put so much emphasis on this big day that we forget about every day that comes after it. We strive for that one perfect moment instead of focusing on all the UN-perfect moments that really make the difference in our lives.
I am not going to have the perfect marriage but what I am going to have is this promise:
To my husband,
I promise I will wakeup everyday trying to be the best version of ME so I can give the best of myself to you.
I will not compare our life to what other people have or what other people do.
I will go out of my way to treat you with the love & lust at 10 years like I did at 10 weeks.
I will be open minded about failures, struggles and NOT so quick to blame as it’s not always your fault!
I will be loud and clear about my wants and needs and communicate when I need a break from you!
And last, I promise to lead by example for our children because I know that no matter what I say, the impact comes from what I actually DO.
It rained the day of our OUTDOOR, BACKYARD wedding. Nothing about our wedding was perfect, posed or went as planned. Our ceremony was literally 5 minutes, there was no sit-down plated dinner, no emphasis on linens, silverware, flowers, color scheme or bouquets. It was INCREDIBLE.
Here’s to changing the fairytale and living a non-perfect life!
I love you all,