Jeremy’s Tophunder №31: The Lost World: Jurassic Park
I’m going to do two things here before I start.
- I’m going to share an unpopular opinion, probably the most unpopular opinion I hold.
- I’m going to spoil a future entry of this list.
Some of you might already see where I’m going with this, but if you can’t, let me help you out.
I have The Lost World ranked higher than the original Jurassic Park.
I know. Trust me, I know. I can’t believe it either.
Yes, I know about the gymnastics attack on the raptors. Yes, I know about the Tyrannosaur attacking San Diego. I’ve seen the movie. I’m sticking with my opinion, and I’ll tell you why.
Roland. Tembo.
Let’s talk about Roland Tembo for a second.
For those of you who have been following this over the last week or so, you know I really enjoy character introductions. I love getting a glimpse into the filmmakers’ minds to see what kind of tone they’re trying to set with each character. And if that character has an energetic monologue to illustrate what they’re all about, well, even better.
Hold on, I’m not done with Roland Tembo (portrayed by Pete Postlethwaite, by the way). I can’t find a clip of it, so just enjoy this exchange he has with Vince Vaughn’s character:
Nick Van Owen: You seem like you have a shred of common sense, what the hell are you doing here?
Roland Tembo : Somewhere on this island is the greatest predator there ever lived. The second greatest predator must take him down.
Nick Van Owen: The animal exists on the planet for the first time in tens of millions of years and the only way you can express yourself is to kill it.
Roland Tembo: Remember that chap about twenty years ago? I forget his name. Climbed Everest without any oxygen, came down nearly dead. When they asked him, they said, “why did you go up there to die?” He said, “I didn’t, I went up there to live.”
Plain and simple, he’s the coolest character to ever exist in the Jurassic Park universe. He takes the effortless unflappability of Jeff Goldblum’s character in the first movie and turns it up to 11. He single-handedly saves what would have otherwise been a terrible movie.
Like, I get it. It’s not even that -good- of a movie, even with him in it. But it’s a movie that I love, unapologetically, because he’s just so goddamn captivating. Stephen Spielberg worked with Postlethwaite on this movie, as well as Amistad, both released in 1997. After working with him on both films, Spielberg called him “the best actor in the world,” and I don’t think he was just saying it to be nice.
The Lost World is a movie that I love in spite of the fact that it’s, well, just not very good. Or maybe even I love it -because- it’s not very good. For some reason, all of the ridiculous and over the top shenanigans just seem endearing to me. It’s the same mindset I have about Michael Bay movies, like Armageddon, Transformers: Dark of The Moon, and The Rock (all of which made the Top 100), or movies like Con Air, The A-Team, or Die Hard (which didn’t make the list). I don’t care if the movie is good, as long as it’s entertaining.
This movie entertains. It’s wall-to-wall absurd action/monster sequences, interspersed with genuinely great one-liners. At one point, Ian Malcom (Jeff Goldblum’s character) turns to the InGen executive along for the expedition and says, “Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas, and I’m gonna be there when you learn that.” Did the screenwriter (David Koepp) construct a good story? No, not really. But did he write good dialogue? Actually, not really on that one either. But there are moments — great moments — that make up for the otherwise unimpressive script.
While doing my customarily cursory research about each movie I’m watching and writing about through this project, I found a fun tid-bit that explains the ending, when the T-Rex rampages through San Diego. Director Stephen Spielberg had the idea, and was intrigued by the idea of dinosaurs attacking the mainland. Originally, though, the plan was to save the idea for the third movie. Just before filming started, however, Spielberg decided that he wanted to put it into this movie, because (a) he realized he probably wouldn’t direct any more movies in the series, and he wanted to direct this sequence, and (b) he said “We gotta do it. It’s too fun not to.” This is the type of energy I’m looking for from my summer blockbusters.
I don’t care if it’s a good movie, as long as it’s an entertaining movie.
Obviously, being a good movie helps your cause. But sometimes, just being a fun movie to watch matters a lot more than being good. If you gave me a choice between any Transformers movie and Gone With The Wind, I’m probably picking Transformers. If you gave me a choice between any Marvel movie and Citizen Kane, I’m almost certainly watching a superhero punch evil in the face. That’s how we end up here. Jurassic Park is a much -better- movie than The Lost World. The dinosaurs look better (because they’re animatronic, not CGI), the story is tighter, the characters are more developed and less formulaic, and the action sequences are less ridiculous. It’s a better movie. I fully cop to that. But for me, for whatever reason, it’s just not as fun to watch.
Don’t get me wrong — the original Jurassic Park is still fun. It makes the top half of the list and when it comes time to watch it again and write about it in this space, I will be very happy to do so. But it doesn’t compete with Roland Tembo’s introduction scene, when I just lean back and giggle to myself. Any non-comedy movie that can make me react like that deserves a prominent spot on my list. So while The Lost World: Jurassic Park doesn’t crack the Top 30, it sure comes awfully close.
(For a refresher on the project, I introduced it in a Facebook Post on Day 1)
Here’s our progress on the list so far:
6. The Fugitive
17. Ocean’s 11
24. Apollo 13
31. The Lost World: Jurassic Park
45. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
47. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
67. Batman Begins
76. Finding Nemo
85. Seabiscuit
93. The Truman Show
