Things I Tell Myself

When no one is listening of course.

So I thought of a new, well not new as in unique, but I thought of a thing. I’m hoping by sharing it, it will be a thing that helps self improvement for myself, but hell, maybe someone else too. My creativeness, my mojo, my “stuff” that helps me write has dried up lately. I don’t know if its the horrible vibes since the beginning of the month, or what, but usually this time of year has me cranking out stuff constantly. So maybe this will help. If not, it will just be embarrassing and something funny someone can whisper, “I can’t believe she wrote that.” Not sure it this thing will be a regular thing, but it might be. Also, the word “thing” is my word of the day apparently.


  1. You should do something about your hair, it doesn’t look professional enough, and too wavy.
  2. You need to learn how to do your makeup better, you always look tired, or plain.
  3. Don’t you know how to put a fashionable outfit together? You dress like an old lady.
  4. You are too fat, and need to lose weight.
  5. If you were smarter, maybe you and your husband would have better conversations. Learn some anatomy.
  6. Your writing would be better if you tried harder.
  7. No one wants to read your writing anyway, don’t bother trying.
  8. A bookstore? Are you stupid? No one likes books anymore.
  9. You are ugly, why does your husband stay with you?
  10. Your family only hangs out with you because you’re related.
  11. You will never publish your book.
  12. Try to be more positive.
  13. Stay quiet, they don’t want to hear your opinion.
  14. If you try on your own you will fail; best not to try.
  15. Fuck this, I can do it.
  16. You should be more like your sister, every one loves her.
  17. You are not creative enough, so just stick to yourself.
  18. If you had been a better friend, maybe she wouldn’t be addicted to drugs and still be with that horrible boyfriend of hers.
  19. You are not interesting enough.
  20. Maybe I will find my voice one day.
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