A Dialogue in the Dark

What will happen when people with different nationalities are placed in the same room, blindfolded, and asked to discuss things about each other’s culture that angers, frustrates or confuses them?

This weekend, Tings hosted a “Dialogue in the Dark” where 9 participants were blindfolded and led through a discussion of cultural differences between foreigners and Chinese people. This was an opportunity for people from different backgrounds to have an honest and open conversation about something they may not discuss otherwise. One could consider it a social experiment, to see if by masking identity the dialogue will be elevated to another, more genuine, level.

We wanted to answer two questions: 1) how do cultural differences affect relationships and a person’s identity? And 2) how does being blindfolded (or not having an identity) affect conversation and understanding between participants?

Culture vs. Personality

Our conversation was naturally pulled toward identity — does your culture define you? If I change my cultural identity will I become happier? Do the habits of a culture define its people? I listened to stories about trying to “find yourself” in a new culture; about people who thought they didn’t belong in one culture, but still could not find happiness in another. Others were concerned that cultural differences were to blame for the unhappiness in their relationship.

In the end, we agreed that culture is superficial, and it may not be the way to “find yourself” or connect with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The portion of your life that is defined by culture is only a fraction of what makes you as a human being.

For example. One participant spoke about a change of heart that she had when moving from Taiwan to Beijing. She said before the move, she would never be friends with someone who smokes cigarettes — that someone who smokes is in no way the type of person she wants to interact with. However, after spending time in Beijing (where a majority of the population smokes) she realized that a cultural habit does not define a person, and now shehas many friends who smoke. She realized that even though they did something she disagreed with on a cultural level, she was able to find a deep connection with them.

In the end, being human is extremely complex, and where you grow up or learn your habits from are only a superficial part of what defines you as a person. Cultural differences are like the first puzzle you get when you are a toddler, it is simple and put together quickly. Understanding a person’s true identity is like completing the 3,000 piece 3D puzzle, it takes a lot of time and effort. But once it is put together the relationship will either be formed in concrete or cracked under pressure.

The Blindfolds Come Off

The second thing we wanted to analyze was how being blindfolded affected discussion. Roughly halfway through the event we asked participants to remove their blindfolds. This made it easy to compare conversation and understand what effect being blindfolded had. Below I will dissect the findings and expand the idea to the world of social networking.

The first thing we noticed was how body language changed when we removed the blindfolds. People began to sit more properly and not slouch or rest their head in their hands. Whereas with the blindfold they were comfortable sitting in any way. I believe this is a reaction to knowing you’re being seen, as well as noticing how others were seated.

In addition, there were participants who spoke considerably less without the blindfolds. In a way they would shut down and cease to interact. This can be explained as a reaction seeing a person’s face when they listen to your statement, the process of internalizing another’s body language. In general, without blindfolds the environment is saturated with information that distracts from the discussion— there is more “stuff” to take in and react to. This can be seen in social networks as well. When you have superficial things to pay attention to such as profile pictures, photo albums, and “Top 10 Most _______ Lists”, the words you post as your status mean less and less. Subconsciously, there is too much other shit going on for your friends to exert more energy understanding the meaning behind your status — the one thing that is meant to connect with your intentions and personality the most.

However when participants had the blindfold on, the only things they had to consider were the words they and other participants spoke. Without sight you do not have things like appearance, body language, or other distractions to internalize during the discussion. This can be compared to anonymous social networking, where the only information out there is a type of “status”; content that you speak or type. Without realizing it, people on anonymous social networks take more time to create and listen to posts because they only spend energy on these things. There is no need to follow trends, be concerned about someone’s reaction, or put a filter on your profile picture because those distractions don’t exist. With this crucial difference, it becomes a more authentic social network.

Anonymous Social Networking

Our Dialogue in the Dark confirmed what we know already at Tings — that an anonymous social network is not about gossip or secrets; it is about true expression. Being anonymous provokes thought and speaking from the heart, by removing any other superficial information thats distracts from the full picture.

Tings — Dare to Voice

Tings is an anonymous social networking app centered around our most human form of expression — Voice. “Dare to Voice” is Tings’ motto; encouraging users to anonymously share content that may not be better expressed in other forms, when it comes to emotion and personality.

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