How to Start Creating a Relationship You Love

Looking for Valentine’s cards wasn’t ever fun when my marriage was rocky. I always put it off until the night before because there wasn’t a card for:⁣⁣

😡 You’re fine, but I wish you would help more.⁣⁣

or⁣

😬 I like you enough to stay married, but that’s about it.⁣

⁣I would leave the store with some gushy, romantic card, sign my name, and leave it on the counter for him to open.⁣⁣

I always wanted to believe that I loved Matt like those sweet cards said, but the truth was I didn’t.⁣⁣

We didn’t communicate. ⁣⁣

I never felt like he listened. ⁣

⁣I hated how he spoke to me — the tone. ⁣⁣

One disagreement would spiral into all the things from our past, and we wouldn’t talk for days. ⁣⁣

When we did talk again, nothing would get resolved. We would just kind of move on. ⁣⁣

I became so resentful and angry. Constantly contemplating if I should stay or if I should go. ⁣⁣

But here’s what I didn’t know. I didn’t know that the woman holds the frequency of the relationship.

So, when I started to do the work on myself and better understand why and how I was creating this between us, we changed. Our relationship changed.⁣

⁣He wasn’t always defending himself against me. I wasn’t always blaming him. We started to realize we wanted so many of the same things. We communicated honestly.

Who would have thought?⁣⁣

This is the kind of work we do in Expanded Living. We focus on the conscious and subconscious thought patterns, the way we feel and what that creates for us in our relationship. Then we change it.

It’s the most impactful and loving thing you can do for yourself and for your partner.

Now for Valentine’s Day I write my own love notes for Matt, because no card can come close to expressing to him how much I love him. And us. 💞