Not everyone loves their family. Sharing the same genetic material with someone doesn’t mean anything.
Love isn’t a gimme.
It has to be earned. Someone has to be there for you. They have to support you, and make you feel safe. They have to build trust and respect. Our culture takes all that for granted. They assume love exists at the cellular level. They use it to sell greeting cards.
An entire industry exists to promote family in its most superficial forms. Every holiday season, there’s another barrage of Hallmark movies and songs and commercials to send the same message: If you don’t have a big, happy family, your life is sad and meaningless. …
Think about the last time someone changed your mind. If you’re honest, it probably takes a while to remember.
Maybe it never even happened.
The truth is, we’re always the one who changes our own minds. There’s no single thing the other person says. Something happens in our brains that makes us receptive to new information. Nobody refuses to change their minds simply because they’re ignorant. It has less to do with intelligence, and more to do with language and the human condition.
Here’s how persuasion really works:
Most arguments today are just verbal cage matches.
The average person is just looking for a chance to prove what they already think they know. They want to get their way. They don’t want a real discussion. They simply want to declare their beliefs. They’re using you as a soap box, not a dialogue partner. …
We all do it.
We all do things we call emotionally immature. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself a few questions.
Do you know a single person in the real world who always does exactly what they’re supposed to all the time? Do you know anyone who never loses their temper, or always wakes up incredibly early? Do you know someone who’s always calm and collected?
Do you know anyone who’s always a good listener?
Do you know someone who never criticizes anyone, or never makes mistakes by focusing on the wrong emotions?
That’s a relief. Neither do I.
The people described in those books and articles about emotional intelligence don’t exist. …