Zombeavers (2014): Zombie Beavers, Angst and one Weekend gone very wrong
(Spoiler alert, obvs.)
The movie starts off with a simple enough premise; some unknown medical waste goo falls into a river and contaminates a family of beavers.
While that is happening, we are introduced to some of our protagonists. Three women, Mary, Zoe and Jenn, heading up to a cabin by a lake to have a girls-only getaway. Along the way are drawn out scenes of Jenn being unhappy about not being able to have any sex with her boyfriend on this get away, and Zoe and Jenn being unhappy that they don’t get any cell reception up at the cabin.
I never know if stuff like that’s supposed to be funny or if it’s a bad attempt at social commentary, but it hardly matters because soon enough the protagonists find a way to distract themselves. Namely; beer, swimming in the lake, finding the beaver dam, being scared by a bear and being (possibly) saved by a hunter, Smyth, who tells the women that beavers are nocturnal creatures and who berates the women for being out in only their bikinis.
At the end of the day while the ladies are inside playing “Would You Rather” and “Truth or Dare” and eating popcorn, they hear a loud banging sound. As they go outside to check it out they discover that it’s their boyfriends, Buck, Tommy and Sam, who have come up to be with them against their express wishes.
After a scene of two of the couples fucking, and Sam and Jenn not being able to make up (it looks like they might for a moment before Jenn knees Sam in the balls) we get closer to zombie beaver mayhem. Jenn, who is attempting to take a bath, encounters the first zombie beaver in the bathtub. No one believes her and when they go to check the bathroom, it appears empty. A zombie beaver pop out of the cabinet under the sink scaring everyone, but Tommy kills it with a baseball bat and puts it outside.
The next day everything returns to normal and the group goes for a swim. At least everything seems normal until Buck gets his foot chewed off by a zombie beaver.
This leads to full-blown chaos and mayhem as the protagonists find themselves fighting for their lives against the zombie beavers.
The movie definitely delivered some gorey moments (beavers being beaten in half by baseball bats, deer intestines falling out of the grill of a pick-up truck and a zombeaver-inflicted human zombie-beaver biting off someone’s dick).
I probably wouldn’t watch the movie again. I think my favorite part was the blooper real at the end. But I would recommend a first time viewing for anyone interested in variations on creature horror flicks or horror flicks involving groups of young people getting terrorized in the woods.
I give this movie two out of five zombie beaver tails.