You beautifully nailed the come-here-go-away tension between addict and lover, and by “lover” I mean anyone who loves an addict — spouse, partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, coworker, anyone. I’ve heard people with a lot of time in Al-Anon say their addiction to managing their addict is no different than the addict’s addiction to substance. It’s always an overpowering drive to fill emptiness. In the end, we teach people how to treat us. Hope you don’t mind me sharing a link to this. Well done.