Meaningless Monday Material

Because we still use this thing.

Regardless of being the amalgamation of supposed restfulness and tranquility, Monday’s reputation is permanently scarred. It’s played the role of an antagonist my entire life until I realized it was all an illusion. This brave weekday ultimately takes the blame for the other six, heroically taking the fall for a crime when clean. A respectful effort, sure, but at what cost? After intensive research, I’ve come to the conclusion that humanity’s stress-levels usually peak Monday morning. This is when the weekday’s real symptoms show: stressfulness and chaos.

Intensive research.
So I ask the question I continue to ask and continue to halfassidly answer: Why?

This sensation is at a global scale, a shared hatred among adults and children alike. The common denominator is that humans ascend at an early hour on said day, the former for work and the latter for school. Can a potential cure come in the form of a good night’s sleep? Surely humans have reached 7+ hours during Sunday’s interlude. After hours of more extensive and classified research, I’ve concluded the correlation may be emotional.

More extensive and classified research.

It’s a cultural tradition to torment the first workday’s routine, harass it for its calendar placement, and ultimately use it as an excuse for our unpreparedness. The week’s “sternest” 24-hours represents both the end of our freedom (our weekend), the restless beginning of our obligated attendance (the workweek), and resets the countdown clock towards our next restful break (a fictional countdown clock I just made up). Monday is simply the exception to unleash our inner grouch.

It should be noted that our distaste isn’t necessarily a defect; the negative connotation that accompanies Monday are reinforced since birth. This false notion that Monday’s are “the worst” is further implied or incentivized by our surroundings, especially when our income involves some sort of collaboration with equally miserable people. We despise Monday because it’s easy to beef with something intangible, something we can’t control. The end result: a fault we won’t have to improve.

The real question: What if Mondays don’t suck? What if you do?

Is it because this specific weekday is the perfect scapegoat for our unhappy lives? Like most, I too complained during the beginning of each week. From my scholarly years to life post-college, I moaned the mornings my phone annoyingly poked my shoulder with its digital finger, urging me to get up, arise and embrace the dreaded, unscripted week I’d have to unnecessarily maneuver through improvisation. Ever hear the expression, “your body’s a machine?” All machines have instruction manuals that demonstrate how they respectively function. As far as humans go, everyone’s programed differently so every instruction manual differs- all come in different languages, heights, and have distinct goals and aspirations. Our job is to find out what works for us. Every motive is different therefore the remedy is unique.

Personally, I love Monday’s.


And not in some pretentious “let’s all live life to the fullest” way, but in a “I like to get the most out of my week” kind of way. Also the “living life to the fullest” way. It’s simple, this affection stems from what my intentions for the day are so I immediately associate Monday with productivity and realized that the more I prepare for this crucial day, the more successful my outlook on the week becomes. Monday’s the tone-setter. I devote my Sunday to making Monday the best it can possibly be and believe it is absolutely essential to get the most efficiency out of my week.

If everyone followed this naïve ideology we would all promote optimistic interactions, effective at the beginning of each week! But that’s an ideal world…

Finally, here are a couple of tips on how to cope with the morning blues:

1.) Change your alarm to a ring that isn’t so intrusive and abrasive. If you change it to a song you like, make sure you frequently switch the song so you don’t begin to hate both Monday and your now old favorite song.
2.) Wake up early enough so you can afford to linger around in bed. Whilst this may seem like a very dangerous game, staying down for a few minutes to check the news, read an editorial (hey, like this one!), or challenge your brain with thought-provoking exercises are all great ways to jump-start your productive morning (Elevate, Lumosity, and Memrise are my personal favorites).
3.) By this logic, you won’t have to pick up last Friday’s slack. You know, all of that work you pushed off so you can enjoy happy hour an hour early? More work done on Monday=Better Fridays. Friday’s are now twice as awesome.
4.) Eat a fulfilling breakfast; food is the best.
5.) Repeat step 4 because food.
6.) Try something new. Monday’s don’t have to be this boring cycle of misery. Eat somewhere you’ve never eaten, watch a new movie, and make Monday activities “a thing” that’ll get you looking forward to the next one.

Clearly I’m unqualified to assume the role this weekday has in your life. There are some things we don’t have control over and have to make sacrifices to meet the criteria necessary to survive. But for those who dislike Monday’s because they can no longer afford to be lazy, remember that laziness is purely self-inflicted.

Happy Monday!

If you liked this article, I also have a lot of other opinions on topics I know nothing about. Here’s one about self-learning, and here’s one about how the phrase “everything happens for a reason” is bullshit.

Number of times I said “Monday”: 19

Number of times I said “Hour”: 7

Finally found a way to organically incorporate “whilst”: ✔