Hold on, socially progressive readers, don’t leave just yet! I know toxic men often start conversations with a similar declaration. But please hear me out. I doubt you’ve heard this argument before.
I am not saying what we usually call toxic masculinity does not exist. Nor that it is not a harmful force in the world today. It is.
We should, however, still move beyond it as a term for two reasons:
1. Though it can be a useful term for helping men identify their toxic behaviors, it is far more likely to alienate men than encourage them to change their ways.
2. The phrasing emphasizes certain toxic traits as uniquely masculine, thus, it leads women to believe that they need not reevaluate certain toxic behaviors generally associated with men. (Seriously, hear me out on this one.)
A bit more on each point:
1.
A few years ago, I called things off with my then-girlfriend after repeated instances of emotional abuse, topped off by an incident in which she put me in genuine bodily danger.
After the breakup, I was shaken up and reached out to several friends for advice and the strength to not go back to her.
