Climbing the NBA Preview Mountain

Bron Bron is not a pretty crier

In 2013, the Internet was dominated by Drake jokes, Doge pics, side-eye Chloe memes, and other 6-second distractions that came with the rise of Vine.

Oh, and Harlem Shake videos.

***Cringes for 40 minutes***

For basketball nerds like yours truly, 2013 was also the legendary year when Bill Simmons and Jalen Rose joined forces for Grantland’s (pour one out) NBA preview. It was a glorious, semi-daily event that spanned a month and ended with my Chicago Bulls topping Mr. Simmons’ list over LeBron’s hated Miami Heat squad (Boy, was he wrong, and boy, how times have changed).

I eagerly awaited those videos every day and made it a habit to watch them (alone) in between classes while I ate lunch (alone). It was my zen time. The rotation breakdowns, loud Jalen-isms (Keep Gettin Dem Checks!), and pop culture references cleansed my pores and scrubbed the inside of my soul.

Okay, that may be a bit much, but I really, really liked these videos.

Team by team, Bill and Jalen went over offseason transactions, projected lineups and playoff chances. For someone who diligently pores over every minor offseason move (I got excited about the Clippers signing Raymond Felton for God’s sake), I sorely miss these daily 20-minute digressions into each team’s landscape.

SO.

I’ve decided to do it myself.

Most free agents have signed (does anyone know where JR Smith even is?), Summer League is over, and I’ve squeezed the juice out of all the basketball podcasts I could. It’s time for me to stop consuming and start producing.

Not to say that what this ends up being will be anywhere near as exciting as Bill and Jalen’s NBA preview — or anyone’s NBA preview for that matter — but it’ll be exciting for me. So to steal the Bill and Jalen template, I’ll give my 2016–2017 NBA team rankings, in descending order, with (kinda) daily assessments of each franchise.

Along with my endlessly eloquent (italics=self-deprecating sarcasm) words, there will be photos, videos, graphics, and stats galore, and maybe even a few podcasts if I’m feelin’ extra frisky (and if I find someone equally excited to ramble with me).

I’m still figuring out exactly how I’ll format each team preview, but should be jumping into No. 30 soon, so stay tuned. Or don’t, it’s chill.

Till next time ya’ll